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qwaszxwesdxc

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qwaszxwesdxc
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 809
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28862) - you deserved it (1795)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, I was petting my cat and I jokingly said out loud, "Oh, the pussy likes it rough? You like that, don't you?" My windows were open and I could hear the neighbors laughing. FML

Today, I decided to look at the pictures my mom took during my birthday a couple of weeks ago. Every single one is of my sister. Her lighting the candles, her watching me open presents, and her eating cake. The only pictures of me are in the background. FML

#19569891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (1332)

On 05/03/2012 at 7:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

#19568801
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33299) - you deserved it (9692)

On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States

Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML

#19568325
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (2385)

On 05/03/2012 at 1:00pm - love - by Turnipseed3 - United States

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

#19567272
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25237) - you deserved it (2049) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/03/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Laura (woman) - France

Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML

#19552078
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6082) - you deserved it (47160)

On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

#19547170
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31403) - you deserved it (8087)

On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37774) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I found out I have a kidney infection. Now I'm forced to drink at least 4 glasses of water before going to bed. I also have to be woken up every two hours to be told to, "GO PEE BEFORE YOU DIE!" by my mother. FML

#19520981
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (1724)

On 04/24/2012 at 7:50am - health - by hottygirl905 - United States (Florida)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (3000)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I have been awake so long I hallucinated a llama in my living room. I have a medical condition that keeps me from sleeping properly. I've run out of medication. I still see the llama. FML

#19482788
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (2369)

On 04/17/2012 at 5:38am - health - by SeeingLlamas (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

#19477663
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21719) - you deserved it (2683)

On 04/16/2012 at 8:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I held up my best friend with a lighter shaped like a gun, and jokingly accused him of sleeping with my wife, only to have him admit that he really did. FML

#19477249
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44608) - you deserved it (4944)

On 04/16/2012 at 4:12am - intimacy - by oface13 (man) - United States

Today, my daughter told me that when she dies, she'd like her ashes spread on her laptop. FML

#19475890
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16979) - you deserved it (2116)

On 04/15/2012 at 11:10pm - kids - by sigh (woman) - United States (Oregon)



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