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Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 11:28pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2679
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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queeennnale's favorite FMLs

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed my eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't know what's worse, dancing with a box, or opening my eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML


I agree, your life sucks (8129) - you deserved it (32287)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I paid a surprise visit to my parents, after having moved out for university last year. My room had been stripped bare and all the family photos featuring me were missing from the wall. When I asked why, my mom asked me in return why I was asking stupid questions. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23615) - you deserved it (2056)

On 11/09/2012 at 5:03pm - kids - by jan420 (man) - Norway (Ostfold)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (6957)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML


I agree, your life sucks (31562) - you deserved it (4836)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:17am - love - by 123alleyesonme - United States (Texas)

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26712) - you deserved it (4628) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21673) - you deserved it (11117)

On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23421) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/28/2012 at 8:29am - work - by radioinvader (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I slipped on a crayon a little girl threw on the floor, causing me to drop the tray of water I was carrying, making me spill it all over her. After getting cussed out by her mom, I was fired for making a customer unhappy. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (1733)

On 10/14/2012 at 1:29am - work - by bbbbb - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my mother found a hickey on my neck. Not believing that it was from the hungry 2-month-old child I was holding, she confronted my boyfriend about it. He promptly accused me of cheating. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27115) - you deserved it (2451)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28301) - you deserved it (3240)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML

Today, I was at a job interview. The interviewer spoke to me for a few minutes, then said she would be right back, and left. I was left alone in a room for an hour and a half believing that it was a patience test. They closed the store for the day, leaving me in the interview room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30682) - you deserved it (2297)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:31pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML


I agree, your life sucks (19401) - you deserved it (3435)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, I finally finished my summer assignments for three AP classes. My schedule also arrived. Turns out my school can't place me in any of them, and I just wasted the last four weeks of my summer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25828) - you deserved it (2148)

On 08/18/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by spandexwiener (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML


I agree, your life sucks (10260) - you deserved it (22392)

On 08/16/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

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Friday 27 November 2015

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