Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

queeennnale

Offline (the 08/14/2014 at 11:28pm) | Search for a member

queeennnale

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 860
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About queeennnale : no

queeennnale's page activity

Visits<b>Gooberglop</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 11:51pm<b>capthigh</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 8:19pm<b>gingalife8991</b> - the 08/23/2014 at 11:12pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 5:10am<b>WTFisTurbo</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 7:21am<b>DeathScythe24</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:46am<b>teentee401</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 9:55pm<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 12:49am<b>kmp711</b> - the 04/02/2014 at 8:51pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 2:43pm<b>Undecided_Jesus</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 11:23pm<b>matticus27</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 11:14am<b>igszzy</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 12:56am<b>Brainnnnz</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 11:07pm<b>JustAnotherJose2</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 11:00am<b>AtLast</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 5:50am<b>zombielettuce</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 11:28am<b>Mariooo</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 7:12pm

queeennnale's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of queeennnale's badges

queeennnale's favorite FMLs

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

#20705783
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44607) - you deserved it (4173)

On 06/04/2013 at 4:31pm - misc - by no booze, no boyfriend (woman) - United States

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55399) - you deserved it (16839)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45078) - you deserved it (4497)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend when he said, "Hold up." Thinking it'd be funny, I ran and grabbed my copy of the movie Up, and took a picture of me holding it and sent it to him. He replied, "Getting real tired of your shit." Then dumped me for my "dumb taste in humor." FML

#20696601
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62536) - you deserved it (13667)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:16am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Utah)

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39556) - you deserved it (3363)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45461) - you deserved it (9087)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
350 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (129608)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63339) - you deserved it (14426)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML

#20690062
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41903) - you deserved it (13495)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:56pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47994) - you deserved it (5515)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was chatting with a co-worker, and she mentioned she has trouble swallowing pills. I replied that I'm lucky, because I have next to no gag reflex. Half the guys at the other registers abruptly went silent, and I'm now being constantly hit on. FML

#20564125
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33604) - you deserved it (15329)

On 03/28/2013 at 4:56pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I was eating out with a group of friends and my boyfriend. During the meal, I accidentally took a sip from my male friend's glass. My boyfriend pointed and said, "Babe, you took his drink." My friend responded by putting his arm round me and saying, "Whatever, I took her virginity." FML

#20563680
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64547) - you deserved it (16395)

On 03/28/2013 at 11:11am - intimacy - by everyoneheard (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went to the airport after saying goodbye to my, for some reason, giggling boyfriend. I learnt why he was so cheerful when I opened my purse in front of the guards, only to find pink-furry handcuffs, and a huge dildo. They pretended not to know what it was. FML

#20556322
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51515) - you deserved it (6250)

On 03/23/2013 at 11:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was feeling sick and fainted while teaching my kindergarten class. I came to when one boy poured a cup of water on my face. Three kids were crying into my walkie talkie telling the office I was dead, and the rest of the class had disappeared. FML

#20556205
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43609) - you deserved it (3232)

On 03/23/2013 at 9:25am - kids - by kindergarten teacher - United States (California)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40960) - you deserved it (6079)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: