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Offline (the 03/19/2015 at 6:09am) | Search for a member
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TODAY, TO AVOID LOOKING LIKE A LOSER IN FRONT OF HIS FRIENDSHO ALL HAVE GIRLFRIENDS, MAH BROTHER MADE UP A PERFECT RELATIONSHIP. HE ASKD ME TO GIVE HIM A HICKEY IN EXCHANGE 4 50 EUROS. OUR PARENTS WALKD IN ON US. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. When it came time fir us to leave, I saw him write something on the reciept fir our waitress. I managed to get a quick look; it was his number. mega FML
Today, I got a text from mah mom saying, "I hered the cupcake store got robbed. Where r you?" Then she texted back, "Oh never mind, they wanted money, not cupcakes. It wasn't you." Very funny, Mom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy . She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts . Trying to make her feel better, I said I dated smaller breasts . She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises . mega FML
YESTERDAY, MAH HUSBAND CALLD ME TO THE BEDROOM TO SHOW ME SOMETHING. THIS "SOMETHING" WAS HIM DEMONSTRATING HIS SEEMINGLY WELL-TRAIND ABILITY TO ACCURATELY TYPE OUT A SENTENCE ON MAH PHONE USING NOTHING BUT HIS ERECT PENIS. FML
Friday 27 March 2015