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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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ql781338036

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ql781338036
  • Town/Country : nanjing, china
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 March 1988 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 184
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I arrived in my dorm at 3 am to find my roommate passed out and a nauseating stench. While I was gone, he got drunk and puked all over the walls, carpet, and both beds. His inebriated attempt to clean up the mess consisted of smearing his vomit everywhere with my shower robe. FML

#6097881 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (24906) - you deserved it (1255)

On 11/01/2009 at 6:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I got pulled over for going 85mph in a 60mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch even though the other cars were topping 100mph. FML

#5899039 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (10481)

On 10/19/2009 at 5:12pm - misc - by tracey (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my manager mentioned that she'd hired a "cute boy" to help me out at work with paperwork. The "cute boy" was my ex-fiance and now I have to be with him in an office for 30 some hours a week while his current fiancée brings him lunch everyday. FML

#5897487 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (35120) - you deserved it (1909)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:37pm - love - by Alyssa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went on a date with an awesome guy. I got super hammered and punched him in the face. FML

#5894935 (104)

I agree, your life sucks (5341) - you deserved it (40644)

On 10/19/2009 at 11:42am - love - by DrunkGirl - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my newly divorced parents fighting about who gets to keep me. Neither of them want me. FML

#5893479 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (48000) - you deserved it (2644)

On 10/19/2009 at 7:50am - misc - by cc10 (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (32017) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

#5867673 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (1511)

On 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I awoke to find a giant turd on my carpet, cat hair everywhere in my room, and a big hole in my window screen. I don't own a cat. FML

#5863047 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (1242)

On 10/17/2009 at 7:13am - animals - by Ethan (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day at the fire station. Naturally, we all went out and got lunch together. I normally don't handle spicy food well, but sucked it up. About ten minutes after we finished, I got up to do rookie duties when someone slapped me in the back. I forcefully vomited all over my new Lieutenant. FML

#5862404 (46)

I agree, your life sucks (20633) - you deserved it (3084)

On 10/17/2009 at 4:20am - work - by PukinFireman (man) - United States

Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML

#5853420 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (6899) - you deserved it (31191)

On 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm - misc - by smarty (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I wrote the most beautiful college application essay ever, ten minutes before the online deadline. Instead of clicking "submit", I clicked the button next to it that said "return". The entire essay vanished into internet wasteland. FML

#5853326 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (14077) - you deserved it (28739)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, it was the first day of fall break from college, and I was really excited to sleep in and relax the entire weekend. Apparently my boss caught wind of my happiness and scheduled me 8am-2pm each day of break, "seeing how I don't have anything else to do." FML

#5851790 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (20844) - you deserved it (2282)

On 10/16/2009 at 2:22pm - work - by cbrocks (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend called me and told me "she has a surprise for me when I got home" in a sexy voice. So, I hurried home only to find a note saying she left me and took my dog. Deeply depressed, I went into the living room. She took my TV also. FML

#5851375 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (30521) - you deserved it (1859)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:33pm - animals - by syn1734 - United States

Today, the power went out at work. As everyone left the building to go home, the owner came in to inform me that, since the phones were on a battery back up, I would be staying to man them. The phones rang 2 times in the 4 hours I sat in the dark by myself. Both times were telemarketers. FML

#5851329 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (1176)

On 10/16/2009 at 1:27pm - work - by devakii (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work and I put on yesterday's jeans. While at my meeting an employee asked me if 'that' was mine and pointed to something on the floor next to me. Which was yesterday's underwear. FML

#5850843 (67)

I agree, your life sucks (8635) - you deserved it (17442)

On 10/16/2009 at 12:30pm - misc - by Sbfreak510 - Sent from mobile version