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qbkilla55

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qbkilla55

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  • Number of visits : 252
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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qbkilla55's favorite FMLs

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

#18239656
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13902) - you deserved it (49851)

On 11/13/2011 at 5:46pm - misc - by shootme - Canada

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML

#17954920
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25573) - you deserved it (5807)

On 10/10/2011 at 8:58pm - health - by maniac11 - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31017) - you deserved it (6308)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I learned what it felt like to get shot in the nuts by an airsoft gun. Thank you, Mom. FML

#17634185
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26690) - you deserved it (4022)

On 09/01/2011 at 6:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while babysitting a five year old, I found a cartoon called Metalocalypse for him to watch while I made dinner. I didn't realize it was an "adult" cartoon until afterwards. He watched a whole episode about a clown with a cocaine problem. FML

#17067732
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11042) - you deserved it (47669)

On 07/11/2011 at 3:21pm - kids - by dummy (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I wanted to annoy my sister by playing the air horn app on my iPhone. I forgot that I had headphones in. Let's just say I quickly had to change my underwear. FML

#14797258
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7972) - you deserved it (60486)

On 02/01/2011 at 1:50pm - misc - by Brea - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML

#8905229
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8603) - you deserved it (32293)

On 03/07/2010 at 10:08pm - misc - by Numbnuts (man) - United States (California)

Today, at a family Seder, (a Jewish service for Passover), my mom served matzah balls during the festive meal. Considering how much I love matzah balls and there aren't many options for me to eat because I'm a vegetarian, I shouted, "I like really big balls!" in front of my entire family. FML

#921004
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (87467)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:27am - intimacy - by anon13 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (247951) - you deserved it (57125)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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