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qazqwer313

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qazqwer313
  • Town/Country : here, there
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 7 October 1995 (16 years)
  • Number of visits : 1582
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About qazqwer313 : LOLing is my favorite passtime

qazqwer313's last visitors

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qazqwer313's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my cigs tucked into my waistband because my shorts didn't have pockets. A friend walks up and asks for a smoke. I say "I've got something you can smoke right here", tugging at my shorts. The "friend" then kicks me in the nuts for being a douche. FML

#7637016 (125)

I agree, your life sucks (5425) - you deserved it (25104)

On 01/28/2010 at 5:24am - misc - by wishihadpockets (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was wearing a shirt that had a picture of a squirrel and acorns with a caption reading "Protect Your Nuts". My dad walked up to me, read my shirt, then punched me in the balls. FML

#7227808 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (6952) - you deserved it (26149)

On 01/09/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by squirrel (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19384) - you deserved it (22685)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I slipped on a patch of ice and fell. I would have fallen straight onto my ass, but thankfully my testicles broke my fall. FML

#7143279 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (28646) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/04/2010 at 8:34am - health - by Soresack (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I witnessed my drunk grandmother attempting the Single Ladies dance, complete with hip gyrations and ass slapping. FML

#7125944 (123)

I agree, your life sucks (21321) - you deserved it (2272)

On 01/03/2010 at 1:06pm - misc - by ohdear (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my fiancé was performing oral on me, when I heard him start making a "Waka waka waka waka" noise. He confessed to pretending to be Pacman. FML

#5629622 (170)

I agree, your life sucks (14888) - you deserved it (3119)

On 10/03/2009 at 9:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML

#4699130 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9786) - you deserved it (33530)

On 08/21/2009 at 1:18am - kids - by Mak10 (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (63754) - you deserved it (4387)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was lying in bed, trying to sleep, when I heard my parents having sex, so I put on my headphones. After listening to music for a good long while, I figured they were done by now, so I took off the headphones just in time to hear them finish. FML

#3934975 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (57760) - you deserved it (3796)

On 07/21/2009 at 5:38pm - intimacy - by Headphones (man) - United States

Today, I finally told my parents I would be changing bedrooms because I could no longer stand hearing them having sex, which is awkward and disturbing. Later, my dad came and asked me quietly if I thought my mom sounded "satisfied." FML

#3919884 (139)

I agree, your life sucks (68693) - you deserved it (4011)

On 07/21/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by fmjob (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

#3451487 (533)

I agree, your life sucks (50685) - you deserved it (129458)

On 07/03/2009 at 10:16am - misc - by shandrith (woman) - United States (California)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister just had a huge fight with my mom. After that, she thought it was appropriate to smash my $1,000 guitar to "blow off some steam." FML

#3428912 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (56914) - you deserved it (1681)

On 07/02/2009 at 3:34pm - misc - by daRN (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85946) - you deserved it (50906)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I checked my bank account that i've been saving money in since I was a kid for college. I have $100 left out of the $10,000 I had last month. Apparently my parents thought buying a pool and an HDTV for themselves was more important than my college education. FML

#2645679 (406)

I agree, your life sucks (85926) - you deserved it (2998)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:24pm - money - by ExtemelyBroke (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. FML

#2372867 (351)

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (41149)

On 05/28/2009 at 1:15pm - health - by ITguy1982 (man) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.