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pzehtoeur

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pzehtoeur
  • Town/Country : New York, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 16 January 1989 (25 years)
  • Number of visits : 11547
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pzehtoeur's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that my fiancé had tried to fake his own death because he thought it would be easier than confessing to the affair he was having. FML

#2820060
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62798) - you deserved it (2822)

On 06/12/2009 at 12:41am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found out just how thin the walls at my new student flat are. They are so thin in fact, that I can hear the creepy guy next door say my full name over and over again very slowly whilst masturbating rigorously. FML

#2738282
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100481) - you deserved it (4282)

On 06/09/2009 at 9:36am - intimacy - by SleepyKirsty (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

#2722142
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79315) - you deserved it (19068)

On 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by OhGeez (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113118) - you deserved it (4876)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (113118) - you deserved it (4876)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

#2697150
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69278) - you deserved it (5381)

On 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm - intimacy - by BW (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was babysitting. I was sitting on the sofa when I felt that I need to ajust my sitting arangment. After moving, I felt a small toy snap under me. The little boy said it was fine. One hour later he snuck up on me and beat me with an umbrella for breaking his toy. FML

#2621619
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (9770)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:25am - kids - by KPKallery (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while shopping in the FML store I bought the "Retro Sport Tee," I didn't notice you are supposed to put your own "FML" on the shirt. Mine says "Today, Your Text Here. FML." FML

#2459150
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21278) - you deserved it (73254)

On 05/31/2009 at 8:03am - misc - by deucelututi - United States (New York)

Today, I was sitting in my basement watching IT. I heard a knocking at my door and turned the outside lights on to see a clown outside staring in at me. I freaked out and began screaming and jumping around like a Chihuahua on drugs. My friends told me it should be on YouTube within the week. FML

#2405054
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48657) - you deserved it (8057)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I thought it would be funny to bother my friend Emily. I kept punching her. She asked if I wanted to fight. I agreed because she's a 15 year old skinny girl and I'm 17 year old buff guy. She beat the crap out of me until I cried. FML

#2234853
419 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13681) - you deserved it (110409)

On 05/24/2009 at 5:49am - misc - by AyoitsSteveo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to this guy that I like a lot and I think he likes me back. When he told me I was beautiful I laughed so hard that I farted. Loudly. FML

#2147101
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49480) - you deserved it (22234)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:13pm - love - by ECullen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog started to hump my leg. He always does this and I heard that humping the dog back asserted dominance. Well, I decided to, and I dry humped him back. As I was doing this I said "How do you like that!" And then my mom walked in. FML

#2026481
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (133825)

On 05/17/2009 at 7:40pm - animals - by sucks (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

#2001814
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43238) - you deserved it (7277)

On 05/17/2009 at 12:20am - work - by blairheir721 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, some little girl went in the bathroom for quite a while. Came out for two minutes and went back in. She then came out with her finger clutched in a paper towel. One of the other coworkers went in to check the bathroom. The little girl wrote "Hi!" with her own poop. FML

#1957441
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37157) - you deserved it (2048)

On 05/15/2009 at 3:20am - work - by RunningMurphy (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

#1942963
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27211) - you deserved it (38745)

On 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm - kids - by Jessica (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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