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pyros

Offline (the 09/06/2014 at 9:24am) | Search for a member

pyros

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1777
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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pyros's page activity

Visits<b>Live4funny</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:31pm<b>TheManInWhiteXx</b> - the 05/19/2014 at 8:42am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 12:58am<b>robsmit98</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 5:11pm<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 10:21pm<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 04/18/2014 at 2:03am<b>S232Flash</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 6:33pm<b>LeeB</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:01am<b>omfgorlaith</b> - the 04/09/2014 at 3:03pm<b>colinlb</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 6:48pm<b>Victormoon</b> - the 04/03/2014 at 6:33pm<b>thatoneguy1369</b> - the 03/21/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Wolverine33</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:04pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 03/10/2014 at 10:27pm<b>15499kiwis</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 12:14am<b>SwimmingBassist</b> - the 02/25/2014 at 12:05am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 1:56pm<b>crazy_maniac69</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 10:33pm

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pyros's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming "What the fuck?!" FML

#21151127
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47428) - you deserved it (7217)

On 05/25/2014 at 12:09pm - misc - by great 1st impression (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42785) - you deserved it (3463)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (314) - you deserved it (18741)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took my kids to an Easter party hosted by a local church. The nice lady in charge told the kids, "Jesus died, but He rose to life again!" My 9 year old screamed, "LIKE A ZOMBIE!" FML

#21116666
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40411) - you deserved it (7949)

On 04/18/2014 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

#21104869
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43688) - you deserved it (3061)

On 04/05/2014 at 12:04am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I needed to borrow money from my girlfriend. I went into her bag and pulled out the money all while a lady watched me open-mouthed. Turns out it wasn't my girlfriend's bag. It belonged to the lady watching me. FML

#21062237
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38717) - you deserved it (17796)

On 02/16/2014 at 7:56am - money - by anon - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I was grading work my students had done with a sub. I realized one student had gotten hold of the teachers' edition of the textbook when I read ten papers in a row that had "Student answers may vary" as the answer to problem number four. My students can't even cheat properly. FML

#21061154
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (5070)

On 02/15/2014 at 2:11am - work - by chinaski7628 - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting in line at a clothes store when someone cut in in front of me, and the gentlemen in front of me. I shouted, "Hey! Queue starts back here!". He responded by pointing out the "gentlemen" in front was actually a very realistic mannequin. FML

#21056589
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (15344)

On 02/10/2014 at 7:45pm - misc - by QueueJumper (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. My hand-eye coordination went straight to hell and I managed to accidentally smack my nose into his penis. He told all his friends about it, and I'm apparently now known as Woodpecker. FML

#21054451
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48456) - you deserved it (9534)

On 02/08/2014 at 1:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask the guy I like if he'll be my Valentine. I wrote the question on a piece of paper and passed it to him, trying to be cute. He read it, wrote his answer with a smile, and passed it back. It said, "Depends, do you swallow?" No, no I don't. FML

#21053668
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43469) - you deserved it (9332)

On 02/07/2014 at 7:18pm - love - by mariana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML

#21053213
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52279) - you deserved it (18519)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41570) - you deserved it (21612)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35886) - you deserved it (40347)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53834) - you deserved it (6642)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found a Google search for "erectile dysfunction" in my browser search history, along with pages about treatments for it. I'm a woman, and I live alone. FML

#21049445
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45030) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/03/2014 at 4:16pm - misc - by jai90 (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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