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pyromaniac703

Offline (the 12/02/2014 at 2:27pm) | Search for a member

pyromaniac703

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 230
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pyromaniac703's page activity

Visits<b>micha090</b> - the 11/01/2013 at 9:03am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 12/30/2012 at 6:50pm

pyromaniac703's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of pyromaniac703's badges

pyromaniac703's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35739) - you deserved it (3650)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36727) - you deserved it (13778)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I babysat a 9-year-old kid for the first time. The moment his parents left the house, the little shit looked me dead in the eyes and let me know that if I didn't let him do whatever he wanted, he'd tell his parents that I touched him in his "no-no place". Suddenly I hate kids. FML

#21210892
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51485) - you deserved it (3577)

On 07/16/2014 at 2:56pm - kids - by fuck you, kid (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

#21195046
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51372) - you deserved it (4407)

On 07/01/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by carebear1228 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working my shift at our local nursing home. I was assisting a "sweet", "innocent" 100-year-old lady, and she had a bunch of used tissues balled up in her lap, so I offered to dispose of them in the waste-basket. She told me that if I touched them, she would kill everything I love. FML

#21175899
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43744) - you deserved it (4930)

On 06/15/2014 at 8:21pm - work - by caleighrossi - United States (Iowa)

Today, my grandma has been running around the neighborhood, dressed as Bobo the Evil Clown, chasing trick-or-treaters. All I've been able to do is chase after her, and apologize to the terrified children's families. FML

#20941017
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37254) - you deserved it (3287)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by bobosgonnagetyou - United States (Oregon)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML

#20898150
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48824) - you deserved it (6384)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (5179)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28982) - you deserved it (18126)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered that there is nothing wrong with our snowblower. I live in Alaska and for the last 10 years I have been shoveling our long steep driveway because I thought the snowblower was broken. Reality? My mother has "never been able to get it out of the shed." FML

Today, I told my 3 year old daughter to behave or I'd spank her. She looked right at me and said "Bring it." FML

#13026235
417 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31698) - you deserved it (28394)

On 09/12/2010 at 9:38pm - kids - by Username - Sent from mobile version



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