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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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pwot

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pwot
  • Town/Country : Loserville, U.S. of A.
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 16 April 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 2931
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About pwot : Well, I finally got a FML account.

Fun-Fact:
I wish I were mentally ill. No really. I do.

Why are you here? Have you no life as well?

Fuck. My. Life. and fuck the french too. but not really. the french part.



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pwot's FML badges

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pwot's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML

#126669 (322)

I agree, your life sucks (95906) - you deserved it (16560)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my 81-year-old widowed grandmother on the phone, and she told me she was giving up sex for lent. Not only do I now have a vision of my grandma having sex, I am reminded that she is having more sex than me. FML

#115181 (42)

I agree, your life sucks (57307) - you deserved it (3395)

On 02/23/2009 at 5:02pm - intimacy - by unlucky_vee_13 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (67691) - you deserved it (3918)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179 (667)

I agree, your life sucks (538060) - you deserved it (47579)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML

#60508 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (7233) - you deserved it (30503)

On 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by silkytaco - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up!". FML

#56665 (528)

I agree, your life sucks (141676) - you deserved it (53026)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was hooking up with a girl in my apartment when I told her I didn't have a condom. She started laughing and upon realizing my look of confusion, said "Oh, you actually thought I was going to have sex with you?" FML

#54081 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (46081) - you deserved it (12799)

On 02/16/2009 at 4:09pm - intimacy - by pineapple456 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML

#48381 (145)

I agree, your life sucks (35268) - you deserved it (7758)

On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)

Today, I saw my male boss holding a purse. Just to be a smart ass, I made fun of him as if the purse was his. It was his. FML

#45766 (39)

I agree, your life sucks (7197) - you deserved it (27908)

On 02/15/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by gregoyles (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I stood by the wall at a party while everyone else danced and ignored me. It was my birthday party. FML

#44996 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (7988)

On 02/15/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Noname - United States

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

#36396 (690)

I agree, your life sucks (342667) - you deserved it (22942)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (28528) - you deserved it (13561)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML

#19556 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (875) - you deserved it (17112)

On 02/10/2009 at 12:36am - misc - by maxthndr (man) - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (929)

I agree, your life sucks (419798) - you deserved it (30675)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469 (23)

I agree, your life sucks (14440) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)