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putloginhere

Offline (the 12/14/2014 at 5:15am) | Search for a member

putloginhere

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 1 May 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 509
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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putloginhere's favorite FMLs

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

#20977883
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18667) - you deserved it (49108)

On 12/02/2013 at 1:41am - misc - by car keyer (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

#20680679
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56039) - you deserved it (4369)

On 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49740) - you deserved it (13527)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was taking a peaceful stroll in the local park when a curious turkey decided to follow me. Trying to shoo it away, I swung my leg at it, as if to fake kick it. Being the stupid animal it is, it decided to fly into my leg as I swung, causing my foot to connect to its neck. It died. FML

#20529231
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (45515)

On 03/03/2013 at 9:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17060) - you deserved it (68112)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML

#19961966
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35505) - you deserved it (3107)

On 07/20/2012 at 1:13am - money - by Rachel - United States



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