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purplespacepirat

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purplespacepirat
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 96
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

purplespacepirat's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (4475)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML

#13466592
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22258) - you deserved it (2587)

On 10/16/2010 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I received a phone call from my son's school. Apparently, for the past week he has been telling everyone "mummy works as a drug dealer." I'm a pharmacist. FML

#7353337
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25060) - you deserved it (2244)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:56am - kids - by iKaite (woman) - United Kingdom

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that doctors can be wrong. Pink clothes, pink stroller, pink bottles, pink bibs, pink cribs and pink bedding to go with my baby that recently came out with a little pink penis. FML

#4483118
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45903) - you deserved it (15273)

On 08/12/2009 at 7:36pm - kids - by Ouch (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML

#859604
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66150) - you deserved it (179623)

On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a wet dream. When I woke up, I was touching myself. Unfortunately, I also woke up to find that I had fallen asleep on the couch after eating too much at a family reunion. When I looked around the room, over 10 relatives were giving me nasty looks. FML

#4708
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28113) - you deserved it (5643)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:29pm - misc - by frankrizzo - Canada (Ontario)



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