purpleskullcandy

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purpleskullcandy

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 July 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2674
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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purpleskullcandy's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:29pm<b>KirstynG</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 1:00am<b>krez</b> - the 02/19/2012 at 4:17am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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purpleskullcandy's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

by My_Name_Is_Zach / 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML

by henley / 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm / Love

Today, my neighbors bought a signal scrambler to stop their kids from going on the internet at night. Too bad it blocks my internet too. FML

by XxFA1LxX / 07/22/2012 at 9:57am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to sneak out of work early and pay a little visit to the pub. I ended up staggering home, drunkenly making myself a nacho cheese dorito milkshake with the blender, then promptly puked my guts out all over the kitchen table. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2012 at 5:38pm / Ireland (Wexford) / Work

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

by great / 07/20/2012 at 6:20am / New Zealand (Waikato) / Kids

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I had a dream that my ex-boyfriend had become a vicious serial killer and was hunting me down because I broke up with him. I don't know what scares me more: the way he hunted me in my sleep, or the fact that it wouldn't surprise me if it actually happened. FML

by InsomniacToBe / 07/19/2012 at 11:55am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

by ThatGirl / 07/19/2012 at 11:30am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally realized how depressed I am when I found bubble wrap and didn't feel like popping it. FML

by Epiphany / 07/19/2012 at 5:01am / United States / Health

Today, my father, who is going through a serious mid-life crisis, walked into my room, told me to "sit the fuck down," and spent the next two hours ranting about how the Lord of the Rings books prophesy the end of the world this December, and that Sauron is an analogy for "corrupt bankers." FML

by Anonymous / 07/17/2012 at 4:19pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to a coffee shop with my friend. The guy rang her up and said it was only a dollar as he winked at her $10 purchase. Then he rang me up at completely full price. She got his number and I got to be the ugly friend once again. FML

by theuglyfriend / 07/17/2012 at 2:09am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

by dogmom / 07/16/2012 at 4:51pm / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, my thoughts that I'm going crazy were confirmed when I got into the shower with my socks on. The worst part is that I didn't realize it for a good five minutes. FML

by goincrazy / 07/16/2012 at 4:12am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML

by klanciee / 07/15/2012 at 10:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

by Zora / 07/15/2012 at 7:13pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Kids