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purpleskullcandy

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purpleskullcandy
  • Town/Country : point, usa
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 12 July 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 761
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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purpleskullcandy's favorite FMLs

Today, after years of bad blood, my husband decided to invite his parents to dinner. After making rude remarks about my pregnancy, his dad eventually muttered that I'm a slut. My husband punched him, his wife called the police, and now I'm all alone while he sits in a jail cell for battery. FML

#20030486
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (1450)

On 08/19/2012 at 7:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I got into an argument with my girlfriend over how many sides a triangle has. I actually ended up drawing her a diagram. FML

#20029320
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (2743)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the water park, my grandmother's boob slipped out. Every time I close my eyes, I see her dangling breast in my mind. FML

#20029280
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26348) - you deserved it (2302)

On 08/19/2012 at 1:25am - misc - by JMG - United States

Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML

Today, I bought the only cat on Earth that doesn't like chasing after a laser dot. Goodbye, hours of sick, sick entertainment. FML

#20026951
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11115) - you deserved it (21202)

On 08/17/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

#20024961
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22728) - you deserved it (1415)

On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom asked me if I had any plans to go out tonight. To divert attention, I pretended to be angry and accused her of prying into my social life. Actually, I have no social life and nobody to go out with. My only "big plans" were to finish my Sudoku book. FML

#20023891
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7088) - you deserved it (12648)

On 08/16/2012 at 2:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was hanging out with my brother and his friends. While we were walking to the store, there was a loud snap. Everyone jumped. My bra had snapped, and I had to hold back tears of pain and pretend I was just as confused as they were, while they searched for the source of the sound. FML

#20023182
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18968) - you deserved it (1655)

On 08/15/2012 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my father tried to secretly follow me all day, because he doesn't believe that I have any "real" errands to run or friends to meet with. He's actually convinced that I'm living some secret double life with another family. FML

#20022416
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17788) - you deserved it (1173)

On 08/15/2012 at 11:15am - misc - by Bree - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

#20020512
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (1233)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

#20019125
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21574) - you deserved it (1329)

On 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm - love - by impickingyourhomegran (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

#20018901
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22474) - you deserved it (1148)

On 08/13/2012 at 3:25pm - misc - by jannister (woman) - Germany (Thuringen)

Today, yet again, I had to dye my hair brown in advance of the new school year, because my school doesn't allow "unapproved" colors, even if they're natural. FML

#20018767
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26526) - you deserved it (1812)

On 08/13/2012 at 1:50pm - misc - by youmothERFUCKErs (woman) - United States

Today, while on my morning jog, I turned a corner, and out of nowhere, the business end of a bicycle hit me straight in the nuts. As I collapsed, gasping in agony, the guy who just killed a hundred million of my potential children got back on his bike and cycled away without a word. FML

#20017341
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16943) - you deserved it (1245)

On 08/12/2012 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

#20015372
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28886) - you deserved it (1752)

On 08/11/2012 at 3:37pm - work - by mikeissad (man) - United States (Florida)



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