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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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punkman999

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punkman999
  • Town/Country : Louisville, United states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 26 October 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 264
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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punkman999's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up late for a very important presentation. I got dressed but forgot to wear a bra. During the presentation, I bent down to adjust a shoe strap. I rose to find that the thin straps of my blouse snapped and exposed my breasts. I gave a great presentation and a titty show. FML

#9095970 (338)

I agree, your life sucks (9199) - you deserved it (20615)

On 03/15/2010 at 2:35am - work - by exposed (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have to spend over an hour at a Gamestop so my boyfriend can get his 'Final Fantasy' game at midnight. I'm tired, I don't want to stand around any more, and all the people around around me are debating super heroes. I'm living in an episode of 'The Big Bang Theory.' FML

#8936856 (505)

I agree, your life sucks (7328) - you deserved it (21637)

On 03/09/2010 at 12:12am - misc - by notanerd - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I was late for work so I went to smash the side window with a big rock. The rock bounced off the window and into my face. FML

#8706906 (156)

I agree, your life sucks (6425) - you deserved it (19068)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:36am - work - by chevysprint (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to bring her to her AA meeting. FML

#8587939 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (5152) - you deserved it (21148)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was waiting downstairs at my boyfriend's house as he got ready to go. His mom came over and said she was so glad her son had met me, that I made him really happy. I smiled thinking how nice that was of her to say. She then continued, "Still, he tells me anal is a no?" FML

#8515469 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (16243) - you deserved it (1969)

On 02/21/2010 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by charliesangel123 (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was at work and talking to my boss. Out of habit, I tried to adjust my bra strap and pull it up. My hand slipped off the strap and I punched myself in the face resulting in a fat lip. My boss snorted. He told everyone. FML

#8389533 (93)

I agree, your life sucks (11248) - you deserved it (6430)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:18pm - work - by E (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, in a sporting goods store, my mom walked over to the other side of the store, when a cute guy came over to talk to me. When she saw this she grabbed a bat, walked over to us and said "If you ever even look at my daughter again, I will beat you shitless." She was serious. He ran. FML

#8354648 (234)

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (1364)

On 02/16/2010 at 9:54pm - misc - by batter--up (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was bored at work, so I started doodling a big muscly arm on my notepad, including bulging veins. After I returned from lunch, my boss called me into his office. Apparently the mail clerk saw and was offended. I was asked to explain why I was drawing a person's 'private area'. FML

#8300405 (236)

I agree, your life sucks (13169) - you deserved it (4945)

On 02/15/2010 at 1:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Montana)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26950) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

#8169403 (153)

I agree, your life sucks (14220) - you deserved it (1995)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML

#8169193 (299)

I agree, your life sucks (14006) - you deserved it (12325)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:24pm - misc - by RaceCar (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, when setting up for a rehearsal, my eldest teacher was standing next to me. My music teacher announces that it will be a tight fit and hard for everyone to fit in the area. The old teacher next to me leans over and whispers, "I'd like to fit in your tight area." FML

#8153537 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (18875) - you deserved it (1434)

On 02/12/2010 at 12:13am - intimacy - by pinky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I went out for dinner with some friends to a new restaurant. As I was finishing the soup, I noticed a small curly hair at the bottom of the soup. The chef is bald. FML

#7967999 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (20229) - you deserved it (1410)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:19am - misc - by Anonymous - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I got sent to detention for saying, "that's what she said" after a girl in my class said, "push a little harder" while disecting a frog. FML

#7894652 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (749)

On 02/05/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by eemp - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told my girlfriend's father that I wanted to talk about his daughter. I then went on to tell him I was thinking about 'popping the cherry', instead of 'popping the question'. FML

#7883509 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (11895) - you deserved it (7952)

On 02/04/2010 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by stoopidpoop (man) - United States (Illinois)