pumpkinhead1979

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pumpkinhead1979

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  • Number of visits : 674
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pumpkinhead1979's page activity

Visits<b>perdix</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 2:49pm<b>Artsygirl90</b> - the 08/23/2013 at 11:17pm

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pumpkinhead1979's favorite FMLs

Today, my "friends" set me up on a blind date with a guy who according to their description, sounded perfect in just about every way. He turned out to be my obsessive ex, and this is their idea of a funny prank. FML

by lovelychris / 12/16/2012 at 2:15pm / Brazil (Sao Paulo) / Love

Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML

by Anonymous / 12/15/2012 at 3:52am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

by Anonymous / 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Intimacy

Today, a guy said to me, "I'd really love to see that smile back at my place." Trying to be cute, I asked him if he was single. He replied with, "No, but I am a dentist. I could definitely fix that crossbite." FML

by wut / 08/05/2012 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

by heartbroken / 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

by ironyisabitch / 06/02/2012 at 1:43am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm / United States / Love

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health

Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML

by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked in on my parents discussing how to kill our cat, and how to make it look like an accident. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bexley) / Animals

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

by candymansvan17 / 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I accidentally asked a one-armed man which arm he wanted me to take blood from. He asked for a different nurse. FML

by ohmygosh / 07/21/2011 at 7:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, the girl I have a crush on came over to work on a project. My dad rushed into the room we were in, farted, and then ran out giggling. FML

by longlostkid556 / 06/05/2011 at 12:14am / United States (California) / Love

Today, the only person to wish me a "Happy birthday" was the cop who pulled me over, as he handed me my ticket. FML

by uncool / 04/16/2011 at 2:11am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my cousins offered to sell me his mac for a low price. When I got it, I realized it was an old toshiba painted white with an apple sticker on it. My cousin still insists it's a mac. FML

by roflcopter / 08/18/2010 at 8:53pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous