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Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24856) - you deserved it (7948)
On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5531) - you deserved it (25969)
On 02/27/2011 at 9:20pm - health - by shirley (woman) - Spain
Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30917) - you deserved it (5857)
Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39426) - you deserved it (2702)
On 02/27/2011 at 7:39am - misc - by awkward (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I made plans with an old friend that I haven't seen in years. We agreed to meet at a diner and I told him I'd be standing outside. I watched him pull up, look right at me, then do something with his phone. Seconds later, I got a text saying "Sorry, but I'm busy today and can't make it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (2368)
On 02/26/2011 at 8:56pm - misc - by Angela (woman) - United States
Today, all the staff in my company were forced to attend an evening Chippendale show. Everyone in my department managed to think of a good reason to escape while I failed and no other choice but to go. I'm the only guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15768) - you deserved it (4862)
On 02/25/2011 at 5:15am - work - by yamada (man) - Singapore
Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (14910)
On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I went to see my banker. As we were finishing everything up, I leaned forward to sign something. As I went back to sit down, my 2 year old pulled the chair out from under me, and I crashed down to the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17647) - you deserved it (4006)
On 02/24/2011 at 8:56pm - kids - by Gretchen -
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23679) - you deserved it (4192)
On 02/24/2011 at 3:03pm - misc - by OhDear (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8925) - you deserved it (23456)
On 02/24/2011 at 2:32pm - health - by Steve - United States (California)
Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26052) - you deserved it (12806)
On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my dad what his plans for Friday were. Apparently, he's going to a concert with my step-mom all evening. It's been their plan for months. Friday is my birthday. That's been set since the day I was born. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (5211)
On 02/24/2011 at 5:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went to my son's high school play. The moment I arrived at the auditorium, I shouted out his name to let him know I made it. Thinking I was a student, a teacher yelled, "SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN!" Scared out of my mind, I quickly obeyed, to mass giggling from the kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10842) - you deserved it (26948)
On 02/24/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by Annie (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I got a call from the police dept. My ex-boyfriend is applying for a job there, and they called me to ask if he was "a good candidate for a police officer." I had to start my day off by saying great, nice things about the guy who broke my heart and completely disrespected me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (14003)
On 02/23/2011 at 9:26am - love - by karmaplz (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17855) - you deserved it (36559)
On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)
Monday 17 June 2013
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