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puhp's favorite FMLs
by Wubba87 / 06/27/2012 at 6:32am / United Kingdom (Liverpool) / Work
by tammy / 06/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (California) / Love
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
by cmck932012 / 06/26/2012 at 2:18am / United States (Georgia) / Work
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
by Anonymous / 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/24/2012 at 10:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, while shopping, I bumped into a guy I knew in high school. He went on about he heard I'd got married, looked like I'd had a baby, and that, "she looks just like you!" The kid was my niece, and my husband broke up with me 2 years ago. Thanks for bringing that up. FML
by thankspal / 06/24/2012 at 6:57am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Bad Mommy / 06/21/2012 at 1:40am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
by daddy'sgirl / 06/21/2012 at 12:11am / United States (Tennessee) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, my friend told me she was going to start drinking gatorade, so she could get the body shape of the athletes on TV. When I tried to explain to her that she'd also need to work out to achieve this, she went nuts and hurled the bottle at my face. FML
by phonnah / 06/20/2012 at 1:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Health
Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML
by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML
by anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 10:09am / United Kingdom / Animals
by lisahb / 06/19/2012 at 6:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by turnedoff / 06/17/2012 at 9:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/17/2012 at 12:53am / United States (California) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…