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puhp's favorite FMLs
Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
by SingleAgain / 08/03/2012 at 2:22am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Unwanted / 08/02/2012 at 2:50am / United States (California) / Work
Today, a girl told me she couldn't text me anymore, because she was too tired and had to sleep. Over the next three hours, she updated her Facebook and Twitter accounts, and made a YouTube video of herself singing. FML
by Anonymous / 07/31/2012 at 12:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by fml / 07/29/2012 at 8:20am / Japan (Saitama) / Kids
by feminista / 07/28/2012 at 4:38pm / Guatemala (Guatemala) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/28/2012 at 2:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, my live-in-boyfriend lost his job. Jokingly, I told him that we weren't going to have sex until he found a new job. He then turned to me with the most excited look I have ever seen on his face and said "I am going to stay unemployed forever!" He was serious. FML
by Nikki / 07/27/2012 at 9:45am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by ryanharp2 / 07/27/2012 at 1:05am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, on my way to work, I noticed a woman on the side of the road waving for help, her car appearing to be broken down. I pulled over, stepped out of my car, went over to her car, lifted the hood, and checked it. When I looked up to tell her what was wrong, she and my car were gone. FML
by Joey / 07/24/2012 at 1:04am / United States (Florida) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 07/22/2012 at 3:25pm / United States (Missouri) / Health
Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML
by bitchimgay / 07/22/2012 at 12:48pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by It was the 11 year old / 07/21/2012 at 4:00am / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML
by fxck / 07/20/2012 at 6:45pm / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health
Today, I found out my late grandfather left me a significant amount of money in his will. I thought it was weird because he always acted like he hated me. When I got the envelope, there was $500,000 inside, all in Monopoly money. FML
by Rachel / 07/20/2012 at 1:13am / United States / Money
by cortanaisahobot / 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the…