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puhp's favorite FMLs
by Nuttjacob / 02/27/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 7:19pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, my professor's son died in a car accident and class has been cancelled until further notice. All my friends were delighted and cheered about it in front of me. I was dating my professor's son. FML
by Anonymous / 02/10/2011 at 1:38pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
by maddie! / 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by timor / 12/18/2010 at 11:13am / United States (Arizona) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/22/2010 at 2:52pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she didnt want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
by Tai / 10/31/2010 at 9:30am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/29/2010 at 8:10pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health
Today, I discovered the top I'm wearing becomes completely see-through when it rains. I just got caught in a storm on my lunch break, and still have 3 hours of work to go in my male dominated office. FML
by Anonymous / 10/19/2010 at 2:37am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML
Today, my perfectly sane and healthy 90 year old grandmother had a heart to heart with me. She told me she'd pay for a boob job. When I asked why, she said, "Sweetie, you'll never attract someone with those tiny suckers." FML
by Anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 12:17am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous
Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman asked me what came on a bacon, egg, and cheese biscuit. Trying not to laugh, I respond, "Bacon, egg, and cheese." She then realizes the stupidity of her question, and launches three dollars worth of quarters at my face and says, "Laugh at that, jerk." FML
by lyssuhhhh / 09/26/2010 at 7:14pm / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML
by Anonymous / 07/16/2010 at 12:19am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 years got engaged to a woman I can't stand. I work as a waiter at a catering company, they hired the company and requested me as a server for their engagement party. FML
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, after spending months comparing the previous weather forecasts to work out the exact date,… Today, I told my son off because he lost a form. A form that I later found in my right-hand pocket.…