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puhp

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puhp
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 28 November 1996 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1015
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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puhp's favorite FMLs

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18808) - you deserved it (3692)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (8970)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28533) - you deserved it (6153)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML

#20103277
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11726) - you deserved it (27905)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17836) - you deserved it (3970)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13514) - you deserved it (9748)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was getting a bikini wax to prove to my husband that I could be sexy despite being five months pregnant. As the woman was applying the wax, she said, "You know, if I wanted to, I'm in the perfect spot to reach in and steal that baby." FML

#20097870
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (3106)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20821) - you deserved it (5895)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after eight months of unemployment, I finally started at my new night job. Shortly after walking in, my boss came up behind me, whispered "hooorse dicksss" in my ear, and walked off without another word. I am terrified. FML

#20094121
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17267) - you deserved it (1196)

On 09/29/2012 at 8:11pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (1928)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20217) - you deserved it (8702)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a woman came up to me at work and screamed at me for "taking forever" to come and wait at her table. I work at Wendy's. FML

#20056260
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17734) - you deserved it (1028)

On 09/03/2012 at 7:43pm - work - by FastFoodWaiter (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at college, we had a substitute philosophy teacher, because our professor is on bereavement leave. During his presentation, the sub managed to segue from the early works of Immanuel Kant straight into "the myth of the vaginal orgasm." I'm still shocked and highly confused. FML

#20051386
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14523) - you deserved it (1440)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:40pm - misc - by what.....? (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23499) - you deserved it (14473)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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