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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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puhffft

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puhffft
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 November 1989 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 20787
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About puhffft : I like making people smile, watching music*, and catching fireflies.

*Also a synæsthete. I have super powers.

puhffft's last visitors

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puhffft's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

puhffft's favorite FMLs

Today, as I walked into my class, someone shouted at me, "Wild Snorlax Appeared! Use Your Ultra Balls!", since I am overweight and everyone in class laughed at me. I got made fun of by Pokémon nerds. FML

#7442333 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (25327) - you deserved it (4860)

On 01/19/2010 at 7:03pm - misc - by snorlax (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

#7103723 (159)

I agree, your life sucks (12480) - you deserved it (2030)

On 01/02/2010 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by xxxzzzooo (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML

#6768891 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (18644) - you deserved it (4877)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was hit by a car speeding through an intersection after the light had already turned red. Still partly blacked out, I crawled onto the sidewalk and I sat down. The woman rolled down her car window and yelled, "Watch where you're going!" as she drove by. FML

#6067303 (113)

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (1404)

On 10/30/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by legotron (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a store and came across a Halloween candy isle. I got so excited that I began talking to the candy, in a fake British accent. FML

#5873814 (38)

I agree, your life sucks (5632) - you deserved it (29346)

On 10/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by mojozk (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 6 year old son learned that if you give a mouse a cookie, he will ask for a glass of milk. But if you give a hamster a cookie, he will try to shove the whole thing in his mouth, choke, and die. FML

#5868589 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (32013) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/17/2009 at 5:08pm - kids - by hamster cookie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

#5518308 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (17882) - you deserved it (2187)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by NiHao (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went out with my family and boyfriend for dinner. We were all having a good time, and suddenly at the end of dinner he decides to kneel down on one knee, take out an engagement ring, and say "I choose you, Pikachu," with a straight face. He was serious. FML

#5049999 (590)

I agree, your life sucks (84476) - you deserved it (17442)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:19pm - love - by mandy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML

#4923649 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (12457) - you deserved it (43103)

On 08/30/2009 at 3:12am - health - by tomchuq (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

#4609824 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (8368) - you deserved it (53069)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (50953) - you deserved it (5018)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167973) - you deserved it (51062)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML

#368302 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (54653) - you deserved it (35088)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (363043) - you deserved it (401388)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML

#9438 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (35427) - you deserved it (9067)

On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)