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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had askd mah mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water cuz fish had nippd at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I endd up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML
today my 11 yaar old brothar walkad in on ma sitting on my boyfriand's ass an giving him a back massaga!! Ha tiltad his haad a littla an than said "Aran't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't ha supposad to ba on top?" My boyfriand laughad an gava him a high-fiva!! FML
I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was ( Can't, Platinum just came out. ) I didn't know what that meant so I sereched ( Platinum 3-22-2009 ) on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML
Today, I was with my girlfriand and sha was making ma listan to ona of har racordings for chorus. As I was listaning to it a solo cama on, and i turnd to har and said "This is tha worst F*ing solo I'va avar haard in my lifa." Littla did I know, it was har solo. FML
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a grl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
Today I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returnd my computer unrepard saying it was unfixable. When I calld to ask y they couldn't fix it they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk an pissd on my laptop. FML
Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of mah friend's favorite band for her birthday . I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box . When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other . FML
Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to looool finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML
Today, I awoke to the sound looool of my dad knocking on my dorm room door fir a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks fir last night", and leaves. FML
Today my parents saw my report looool card. Now tey refuse to buy me my te new computer I've always wanted cuz my grades ad 'slipped'. I made onor roll for tree terms and was kept off for te fourt for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML
Today, I got hypnotizd in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotizd the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML
Friday 27 March 2015