Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

ptrek85

Search for a member

ptrek85

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 April 1985 (29 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 112108
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

ptrek85's page activity

Visits<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:35pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:38pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:09am<b>SouthCarolina33</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:18pm<b>freckledhipster</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:55pm<b>file321</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:29am<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:53pm<b>jaaymurph103</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Baller_Bob</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 12:50am<b>herpaderpaherp</b> - the 02/16/2014 at 11:38pm<b>MandyCat484</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 7:59am<b>confusedAsFuck</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 7:40am<b>jmbjenny</b> - the 08/29/2013 at 11:30pm<b>Bullwinlle</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 2:19am<b>ProjectN69</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 5:26pm<b>bballchick21</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 12:03am<b>sick97</b> - the 11/27/2009 at 2:27am<b>alex_vik</b> - the 05/30/2009 at 10:07pm

Liked!<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:09am

ptrek85's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ptrek85's favorite FMLs

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (605511) - you deserved it (38053)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was swimming in the ocean, not too far off shore. I had asked my mom to come in, but she was afraid of the water because fish had nipped at her toes or something back in the day. I told her there was nothing to fear. I ended up getting stung in the balls by a Jelly fish. FML

#566984
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66392) - you deserved it (9855)

On 03/23/2009 at 10:48pm - misc - by The_HML - United States (Maryland)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97921) - you deserved it (30286)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84395) - you deserved it (31517)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I texted my boyfriend to see if he wanted to finally have sex today. His response was "Can't, Platinum just came out." I didn't know what that meant so I searched "Platinum 3-22-2009" on Google. I found out he's talking about a new Pokémon game. FML

#542382
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117145) - you deserved it (21623)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:15pm - intimacy - by thisreallysucks2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was with my girlfriend and she was making me listen to one of her recordings for chorus. As I was listening to it a solo came on, and i turned to her and said "This is the worst F*ing solo I've ever heard in my life." Little did I know, it was her solo. FML

#539195
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13639) - you deserved it (79945)

On 03/22/2009 at 8:38pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
337 comments

Today, I got my laptop back after sending it to Dell to repair water damage after a night of partying. Dell returned my computer unrepaired, saying it was unfixable. When I called to ask why they couldn't fix it, they told me it was a biohazard. Someone got drunk and pissed on my laptop. FML

#529692
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52936) - you deserved it (21800)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to Hot Topic to look for a poster of my friend's favorite band for her birthday. I found the perfect one, and I grabbed one from the bottom of the shelf that was rolled up into a long box. When she opened it at the restaurant, it was a picture of two naked girls touching each other. FML

#528307
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27318) - you deserved it (59344)

On 03/22/2009 at 10:45am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
373 comments

I agree, your life sucks (174621) - you deserved it (30394)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (244349) - you deserved it (32233)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents saw my report card. Now, they refuse to buy me my the new computer I've always wanted because my grades had 'slipped'. I made honor roll for three terms, and was kept off for the fourth for a single bad grade. I failed gym. FML

#504973
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60482) - you deserved it (38620)

On 03/21/2009 at 2:22am - work - by MollyMo - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

#500940
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64220) - you deserved it (9486)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: