ptrek85

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ptrek85

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 112868
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ptrek85's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 12:07am<b>rosieee777</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:10pm<b>Muskrat777</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:45am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 5:22am<b>marzeg</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:35pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 9:49pm<b>misterjg540</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:38pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 12:17am<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:50am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:23am<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:35pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:38pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:09am<b>SouthCarolina33</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:18pm<b>freckledhipster</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:55pm<b>file321</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:29am<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:53pm<b>jaaymurph103</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 6:26pm

Fucked!<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:07am<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:50am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:25pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:09am

ptrek85's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ptrek85's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my girlfriend over and we we're watching a movie in my basement. I run upstairs and pop a bag of popcorn. Later I come downstairs to find my 10 year old brother sitting next to my girlfriend saying," My brother always says he wants to screw your brains out, whatever that means". FML

by CaoNiMa / 03/26/2009 at 11:42am / China (Beijing) / Kids

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

by JAY22 / 03/26/2009 at 7:41am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

by Tourist / 03/26/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got back from a 6 month deployment overseas. My girlfriend of 3 years couldn't pick me up from the airport because she had an intramural softball game to go to. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 3:06am / United States / Love

Today, I wanted to surprise my boyfriend by dressing up in sexy lingerie. When I went to answer the door he was standing there with a shocked expression, his friends parked in the driveway had the same expression as well. He came to break up with me. He told me after we had sex. FML

by lollipopp56 / 03/26/2009 at 2:09am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my mom told me she spent $760 on "quantum pendants" that "produce scalar energy that helps to enhance the body’s biofield." When I told her she got scammed, she denied it and yelled at me. Best part? She frequently lectures me about how I waste my money and spend irresponsibly. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2009 at 1:06am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I realized my friends and I should be more careful what we say around my younger brother. I never thought he was paying attention until today. My stepmom told him it was time to go to bed. He responded, "I think it's time for you to suck one." My brother is 4. FML

by Alex / 03/26/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I got home to find my mom sitting in the kitchen reading the mail. I saw an empty bottle of Absolut peach vodka on the counter. Surprised, I picked it up and said "Wow, who drinks this?" Her reply was "Why don't you tell me? I found it in your room." FML

by izerz / 03/26/2009 at 12:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

by Owned / 03/25/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my parents came to visit me at the ranch I work at. They're scared to death of horses, but I was explaining how they are almost completely harmless. I was showing them how to work around the horse without getting kicked. As they relaxed, the horse kicked me. I now have a broken leg. FML

by Owned / 03/25/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, my mother asked me if my boyfriend and I were getting serious. I quickly lied and said no. She then informed me that if things ever heated up that she would take me to get birthcontrol. Wanting birthcontrol, I confessed. In turn she grounded me. I am not allowed to see my boyfriend anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2009 at 4:40pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

by mrWrong / 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Virginia) / Work