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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 April 1985 (31 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 112920
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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ptrek85's page activity

Visits<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 12:07am<b>rosieee777</b> - the 04/01/2016 at 4:10pm<b>Muskrat777</b> - the 03/09/2016 at 10:45am<b>aliceaudrey1997</b> - the 03/04/2016 at 5:22am<b>marzeg</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 12:35pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 9:49pm<b>misterjg540</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 7:38pm<b>UndeadCity9</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 12:17am<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:50am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 10:23am<b>hedgehogman123</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 1:35pm<b>jayeterror775</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:38pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 4:09am<b>SouthCarolina33</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 7:18pm<b>freckledhipster</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:55pm<b>file321</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 5:29am<b>oxythemoron</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 5:53pm<b>jaaymurph103</b> - the 02/26/2014 at 6:26pm

Fucked!<b>SpaceToast</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 6:07am<b>ppeanutheadd</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 6:50am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 3:25pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:09am

ptrek85's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

ptrek85's favorite FMLs

Today, my two year old cousin was having a temper tantrum. I decided to give him a flashlight because playing with it usually distracts him. It didn't. Instead, he hit me in the face with it as hard as possible, leaving a bruise. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 10:39pm / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

by Shnur / 04/05/2009 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

by Nikki / 04/04/2009 at 11:40pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my little sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her read my IM conversation. I took a nap and when I woke up, my laptop was gone. She took it on a trip to her grandparents' house, six hours away. Nude pictures of me and my paper due tomorrow are on the laptop. FML

by somerandomchick / 03/31/2009 at 1:32am / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, I was at my bosses house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4 foot cake before passing out. FML

by Donzai / 03/30/2009 at 6:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

by Wmsys32pr9 / 03/30/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

by Cynical / 03/29/2009 at 11:49pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had 'something serious' to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was 2 hours long. FML

by linren / 03/28/2009 at 2:40pm / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

by Chelsea / 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend dropped me off for a class and I accidentally closed my exceptionally baggy pants in the passenger door. She didn't notice and started to drive away. I spent the next fifteen seconds being dragged across rough pavement with my pants around my ankles. FML

by enriquegay / 03/28/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I was outside searching for "treasures" with my son using small plastic shovels. All of a sudden he starts screaming. He dug up the bones of our old dog. I told him that we had sent him away to live on a farm, I even helped my son write letters to the farm owners. FML

by Anonymous / 03/27/2009 at 9:05am / Austria (Vorarlberg) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me over the phone. He said there was someone else, and that he has been in love with her for a while. Turns out, the new girl was his online video game character. I got dumped for a video game. FML

by w00tz / 03/27/2009 at 1:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I decided to cheat on my math test by writing a couple of equations on my hand. Totally satisfied, I handed my test in feeling like I had aced it. As I was heading toward the door, I happily waved goodbye to my teacher. She saw everything. FML

by rutho / 03/27/2009 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

by coughandcold / 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was entered into an online contest where they announce your name on the radio and if you call in within an hour they pay your bills for you. I'm unemployed, so I got really excited when they announced my name. My call wouldn't go through - I hadn't paid my phone bill and the line was disconnected. FML

by Broke / 03/26/2009 at 8:24pm / United States (Connecticut) / Money