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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Today, my brother tried to convince me to get a clitoris piercing at his recently opened piercing studio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36208) - you deserved it (3155)
On 05/17/2013 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Varmlands Lan)
Today, my mom came back from a major surgery. She also had a yeast infection. I had to push the applicator in because she couldn't bend down. This cannot be unfelt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43624) - you deserved it (2358)
On 05/04/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my creepy co-worker walked up and said, "You know, I was having sex with this girl last night, and I almost said your name." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37731) - you deserved it (2651)
On 04/02/2013 at 12:11am - work - by QuinnyZebrass (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11416) - you deserved it (42732)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend started coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelled, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43023) - you deserved it (11040)
On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States
Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (2155)
On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, was the day my girlfriend and I tried to 69 for the first time. Today is also the day I learned that I'm physically incapable of maintaining an erection after someone farts in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37578) - you deserved it (4966)
On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19445) - you deserved it (2465)
On 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, as part of my medical anatomy course, I had to give a presentation about an STD and the effects it has on women. The class was comprised almost entirely of girls. I become extremely anxious and accidentally stated "Vaginas are smelly" as my opening statement. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10313) - you deserved it (16437)
On 05/17/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I was accused of being high. Why? Because I was playing with a milk bottle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12462) - you deserved it (3221)
On 03/23/2012 at 2:18am - misc - by Not_High (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22418) - you deserved it (5269)
On 03/13/2012 at 8:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10577) - you deserved it (35203)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm - intimacy - by Fraser - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I caught myself yelling at the girl in the porn I was watching for looking at the camera every other second. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6806) - you deserved it (21576)
On 02/29/2012 at 5:36am - intimacy - by areyouserious - United States
Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (6020)
On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was trying on some new pants in the fitting room at a store. I was so overcome with joy when I noticed that I had dropped two pant sizes, that when I took them off and went outside to pay for them, I realized I forgot to put back on my original jeans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19825) - you deserved it (10111)
On 01/14/2012 at 11:14am - misc - by Julez - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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