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prized_citizen

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  • Number of visits : 32
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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prized_citizen's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56175) - you deserved it (11983)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

#19682010
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17610) - you deserved it (4063)

On 05/26/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by MALICEG - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I spent over 20 minutes trying to convince my daughter that the word she was trying to use was "Back-pack" and not "Back-back". I never convinced her. She is 16 years old. FML

Today, I realized that due to my anti-depressants, I can no longer orgasm. At. All. Which depresses me more. FML

#17861962
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (4425)

On 09/29/2011 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

#17140359
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (2404)

On 07/16/2011 at 8:19pm - health - by imobesejk (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while hiking, my dad decided we should take the beeline trail down the mountain to save time. We got to the bottom of the mountain when we discovered it was the wrong side of the mountain. We had to hike 13 extra miles around it to get back to our car. FML

#15956367
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26838) - you deserved it (5627)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:43pm - misc - by lostinthewoods (woman) - United States

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43173) - you deserved it (2949)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML

#3232657
685 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84521) - you deserved it (19401)

On 06/26/2009 at 3:57am - misc - by ILuvYouSoldiers (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was asking my one year old nephew what noises certain animals make. I decided to trick him and ask him what sound I make. He immediately says, "MOOOO". FML

#3088891
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35255) - you deserved it (15593)

On 06/21/2009 at 12:03pm - kids - by vballqt201 (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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