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princesspooky's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by praise the prenup / 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML
by Queso Dog / 10/02/2012 at 10:42am / Japan / Love
by getajob / 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm / United States (Indiana) / Work
by emilyhendrix0414 / 09/28/2012 at 6:53am / United States / Animals
by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy
by Fingkids / 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
by Anonymous / 09/12/2012 at 3:00am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by tdudey123 / 09/11/2012 at 7:07pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/05/2012 at 10:02pm / United States / Work
by youre dumped shitforbrain / 08/19/2012 at 12:52pm / Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan) / Love
Today, I had a chat with my husband, and I convinced him to try being more spontaneous to spice up our sex life. This evening, he burst into our bedroom with an eyepatch on, and "seductively" growled, "I'm gonna slay your pussy, wench." FML
by Anonymous / 08/11/2012 at 6:22pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML
by fuckingbeliebers / 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the… Today, the $300 ring my boyfriend gave me for my birthday slipped off my finger... into the toilet.… Today, I announced my pregnancy to my husband. He responded with, "Well shit, when do these faucets…