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princessSLPS16

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princessSLPS16
  • Town/Country : New Jersey, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2392
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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princessSLPS16's favorite FMLs

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me over for an "important chat". This chat consisted of him not only insisting that we have sex whenever he feels like it, but demanding that I take birth control pills, because making him wear a condom is "sexist and degrading". FML

#18283192
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36965) - you deserved it (5476)

On 11/18/2011 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML

#18266824
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8385) - you deserved it (31085)

On 11/16/2011 at 7:37pm - misc - by dunicha - United States (Texas)

Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML

#18249265
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32006) - you deserved it (1641)

On 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm - animals - by Stalked (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I'm on holiday with my boyfriend. Going through Chinese customs, an officer pulled us aside, removed a suspicious metal object from my boyfriend's luggage and called six other officers to have a look. It was a kinky pair of handcuffs. FML

#18235563
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21614) - you deserved it (5396)

On 11/13/2011 at 7:46am - love - by notthatkinkyanyway - China (Beijing)

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37240) - you deserved it (7524)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

#18222610
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25304) - you deserved it (2267)

On 11/11/2011 at 9:04pm - kids - by Username - United States (Maryland)

Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML

#18207417
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19719) - you deserved it (8797)

On 11/10/2011 at 12:56am - animals - by Doggy... (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, on the subway, a woman got off without her suitcase. I grabbed the case, chased her onto the platform, and shouted, "You forgot your suitcase!" while the doors closed behind me. In actual fact, it wasn't her suitcase, and its actual owner was still on the train. FML

#18162360
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28005) - you deserved it (9567) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/05/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by Lavalise - France

Today, it was my first time taking blood on the ward. The doctor saw that I was nervous and gave me a violent old man with schizophrenia who thought I was there to kill him. FML

Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the cheek at school. I missed, and walked away awkwardly. Later on, a teacher stopped me and told me how bad I failed. FML

#18153608
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28472) - you deserved it (6309)

On 11/04/2011 at 12:29am - love - by fmlifer - United States (California)

Today, I completed the arduous, nearly hour-long process of answering the eHarmony dating questionnaire, only to be told my answers were too "unique" for them to match me with anyone. I had chosen "the world" as my distance range. FML

#18138545
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32181) - you deserved it (5090)

On 11/02/2011 at 2:14pm - love - by DrakeScott (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, while spooning my spouse, I was awakened in the wee hours by a huge, junk-rattling fart. This has happened numerous times since she became a vegetarian. FML

#18135742
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26537) - you deserved it (3166)

On 11/02/2011 at 1:06am - misc - by steve-o - United States

Today, I was trying to get my boyfriend in the mood so I held his hands against the bed, and whispered, "Have you been a bad boy?" Thinking he'd say something kinky back, he replied "Yes Santa" then burst out laughing. FML

#18134142
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27049) - you deserved it (13334)

On 11/01/2011 at 10:36pm - intimacy - by HOe HOe HOe (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my best friend threw my football over a wall, so we hopped over to go and get it. Next thing we know, we're both surrounded by men pointing guns in our faces. FML

#18127169
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30066) - you deserved it (6136)

On 11/01/2011 at 5:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my wife caught me masturbating to porn. She screamed at me and asked why I would be masturbating when I had her to have sex with. So I asked if she wanted to have sex, she said no. FML

#18108392
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (21775)

On 10/30/2011 at 1:31am - intimacy - by Korisite - United States



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Thursday 10 April 2014

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