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princessSLPS16's FML badges
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You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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princessSLPS16's favorite FMLs
by MALICEG / 05/26/2012 at 3:00am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
by CollegeKID / 05/22/2012 at 11:27pm / United States / Work
Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML
by BowlofCherries / 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Eric Ngan / 05/12/2012 at 12:01pm / Singapore / Animals
Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML
by Class / 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by rawr_fml001 / 05/11/2012 at 7:50pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
by mal / 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML
by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Kyley / 05/08/2012 at 7:55am / United States / Love
by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
by doggone / 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 8:07am / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/05/2012 at 7:44am / United States / Health
by Anonymous / 05/04/2012 at 4:57pm / Netherlands (Utrecht) / Intimacy
Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
by UnderConstruction / 05/04/2012 at 10:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…