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You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Today, to teac ma 14-year-old son a serious lesson 4 bullying a cild at scool again, I grounded im 4 te rest of te year. He just snorted an said, "Cool, I'll just jack off all year ten! Tanks, mum!" an appily retreated to is bedroom. FML
Yesterday, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her . We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, ( Milk me lyk a cow . ) I can no longer looool drink milk without hearing that in my head . FML
Today , I got a new dentist. You know how most dentists play soft , relaxing music? Well this guy seems to like rap a lot , an it's kinda hard getting your teeth cleand to the sound of bullets going off. mega FML
Today , I Raad That Agghitas Maka A Good Hair Traatmant. Evarything Was Going Fina Until , Without Thinking , I Turnd Tha Hot Watar On To Wash It Out. I'm Still Picking Tha Cookd Agg Out Of My Hair. FML
Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the ( Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats ) yerebook award. My best friend said, ( They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh ). Someone else added, ( looool It's still pretty likely, though ). FML
Yesterday, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricadd himself in the employee restroom and refuse to come out, unles I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here!! FML
Yesterday, it's been a week since I found an egg in te street tat ad seemingly fallen out of a nest!! I'd bougt a cage and an expensive incubator lamp to save it!! It's tus been a week tat I've been trying to save a mouldy old potato!! FML
today I fartd so loudly I not only woke myself up, but ma usband as well. He mistook ma gas for someone trying to break in and insistd on cecking teole ouse. I was too embarrassd to tell im te trut. FML
Today, mah girlfriend informd me that during the night, I shot up in bd and whimperd terefully, "I don't have anything for the fancy-dress!" She also decidd to share this with all our friends. I'm never going to live this down. mega FML
Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, ( Stuffed yur bra, didn't ya? Seriously, y even bother? ) The douche then started trying to lecture me on ( false advertising ). FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work !! I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall !! I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I hered someone enter from behind me !! FML
Friday 27 March 2015