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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting it on when I realized I had to sneeze. Not wanting to sneeze on her, I tried my hardest to hold it in. When I climaxed, I couldn't hold it in any more and sneezed all over her face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6014) - you deserved it (10489)
On 11/20/2009 at 9:53am - intimacy - by WorstMedicalBill (man) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38754) - you deserved it (3202)
On 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm - misc - by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went out to celebrate my birthday with a big group of friends. After waiting in line to get into a club, the bouncer looked me up and down and said, "No fat chicks." My friends went into the club without me and left me to take a $100 taxi home alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32619) - you deserved it (6149)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:59am - misc - by obese_chicken (woman) - Australia
Today, I finally finished my art project which was worth 50% of my quarterly grade. I came in 1st period to give it to her. When she turned to look at it, her elbow hit her coffee and spilled it all over the canvas. I got 60%. She said I would have had a 100%, except for the giant coffee stain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47764) - you deserved it (2256)
On 11/05/2009 at 5:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I was doing my paper route. I throw the papers onto people's driveways while sitting on the back of my dad's truck. To be funny my dad decided to suddenly speed up, causing me to fall off the back of the truck, face first onto the road. He didn't realize I fell off and kept driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24740) - you deserved it (2906)
On 11/05/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by Xero_316 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my boss for my first raise in almost two years, to which he replied, "In the real world, I think you've definitely earned one, but this isn't the real world." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25332) - you deserved it (1321)
On 11/02/2009 at 4:03am - work - by fmyjob (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my girlfriend's best friend was dumped, and was absolutely depressed. My girlfriend thought she'd show her sympathy by breaking up with me so they "could be single together." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38300) - you deserved it (1669)
On 10/27/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13267) - you deserved it (3130)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)
Today, I returned to the USA after being in Italy for a month. My boyfriend of 6 years picked me up; we had plans to go ring shopping this week. I ran to him, and told him how much I loved and had missed him. He handed me a chocolate chip cookie from Starbucks and dumped me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33183) - you deserved it (2486)
On 10/08/2009 at 7:35am - love - by sbgooding - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I was fired for not attending a mandatory meeting. I confronted my boss and told her I never heard anything about it, she told me that daily reminders had been sent out via email for weeks. She then discovered that she failed to enter my email address in the system. I was still fired. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40688) - you deserved it (1737)
On 10/02/2009 at 5:31pm - work - by Rae (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, while cleaning up, I dropped a box of thumbtacks, spilling them all over the floor. As I fumbled to pick them up, the power went out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38377) - you deserved it (2900)
On 10/01/2009 at 6:31pm - misc - by Ouchies (woman) - United States (Florida) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I realized how much I'm on the computer. I tried to "CTRL+Z" on something I wrote down on my paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6598) - you deserved it (26900)
On 10/01/2009 at 3:56am - misc - by slcbabii23 (woman) - United States (Missouri) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, my crush was talking to me on Facebook. He said, "Did you know that 99% of the time a guy is talking to a girl it's because he wants to go out with her? Yeah, well, this is that 1%." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34934) - you deserved it (2439)
On 10/01/2009 at 2:59am - love - by Icy (woman) - United States (Washington) - moderated by Kevin Nealon
Today, I went to a school committee meeting. I sat opposite my boyfriend. To get his attention I began stroking his crotch area with my leg. The principal stood up 5 minutes later pulling me under the table. My tights were caught in his zipper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5460) - you deserved it (21715)
On 09/29/2009 at 3:45pm - intimacy - by clumssyXO (woman) - Hungary (Veszprem)
Today, I told my son and daughter that their father and I were getting a divorce. They each responded with "YAY! I want to live with daddy! He buys better presents." Their father has literally never bought anything for them, the exact reason I'm divorcing him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33083) - you deserved it (6344)
On 09/28/2009 at 5:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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