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popcorn
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  • Number of visits : 7146
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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popcorn's favorite FMLs

Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested all of my retirement in Circuit City. FML

#1021
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29272) - you deserved it (2370)

On 01/13/2009 at 5:06am - money - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I saw a friend in the street but he didn't see me, so as a joke I decided to ring him. He took his mobile out of his pocket, sighed and didn't pick up. FML

#1016
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26540) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/12/2009 at 9:47pm - misc - by patty - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for our bubblegum flavored "numbing" lotion to have some morning fun. We couldnt find it anywhere. After about 10 minutes, my little nephew comes from my room crying and drool coming out of his mouth. He smelt like bubblegum, his mouth and tongue were all numb. FML

#997
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28026) - you deserved it (7540)

On 01/12/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by LiLGeek - United States (California)

Today, I got drunk and hooked up with some random chick. Later, I found out she's Facebook friends with my girlfriend. They used to be best friends when the girl was a senior. Small world. FML

#970
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4699) - you deserved it (44097)

On 01/11/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was trapped for 40 minutes in LA traffic after a car overturned and all 5 lanes of the 101 S freeway were closed. When the traffic finally began to move my car wouldn't start since I'd left the headlights on too long and was listening to the radio! And I was in the middle lane of the freeway. FML

#951
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14269) - you deserved it (7612)

On 01/10/2009 at 10:58pm - work - by bubba gump - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15091) - you deserved it (6748)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22262) - you deserved it (6972)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

#814
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17830) - you deserved it (1812)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by neoteck - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out that my wife sent nudie pics to her ex-husband. My wife's excuse for the pics? "I needed a compliment because I thought you didn't love me." FML

#737
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19085) - you deserved it (4606)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:25am - love - by beno - United States (Texas)

Today, I sent a text message to this girl I've been flirting with for a while now saying "How about coffee?". To which she answered "Great idea, I'll go and make myself one right now". FML

#705
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16646) - you deserved it (2261)

On 01/05/2009 at 1:16am - love - by Charly - Sent from mobile version

Today, well, last night, I told my girlfriend that I'm a light sleeper, and that the slightest disturbance will wake me up. As a result, this morning when I looked in the mirror I noticed a bunch of stuff written all over my body, like "You see, you didn't wake up!", "Nor now!". FML

#703
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6455) - you deserved it (25297)

On 01/04/2009 at 10:33pm - love - by titou - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went shopping with a friend. She went to try some clothes on and came out to ask for my opinion. "Hell no! That shirt is awful!". She wanted to show me the pants. The shirt was hers. FML

#698
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8450) - you deserved it (16509)

On 01/04/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was eating at a nice restaurant. Feeling curious, I daringly asked for the surprise "Maiden's Dream" dessert. The waiter came back with a banana between two balls of ice-cream on a plate, and no spoon. FML

#689
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17102) - you deserved it (6519)

On 01/03/2009 at 3:38am - misc - by sm@rtie - Sent from mobile version

Today, I crashed my car racing backwards and told my parents I was rear ended. They made me call the police and file a report. I hope there were no cameras. FML

#765
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3664) - you deserved it (35561)

On 12/31/2008 at 1:23pm - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, after seeing a girl for a few weeks on and off I sent her a text to see if she wanted to go out the next saturday. Predictive text changed "go" to "in". So..."Why don't we in out on saturday?" She stopped calling me. FML

#612
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14525) - you deserved it (3552)

On 12/30/2008 at 11:53am - love - by Noname - Australia (New South Wales)



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