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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should have told me she put in a stick to support the cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (2327)
On 04/25/2011 at 1:01am - misc - by Mr. Headshot -
Today, I told my son that his grades are dropping and his behavior is getting out of hand. To which he replied, "Yeah, so is your weight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31165) - you deserved it (11844)
On 04/19/2011 at 2:38am - kids - by randa -
Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31268) - you deserved it (15955)
On 04/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by lynn777 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to the hospital as my girlfriends emergency contact. When I saw her, she was under a blanket because she had no pants. She had a seizure in a guy's bed and he brought her here. He's here and she wants us both to stay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44568) - you deserved it (3088)
On 03/24/2011 at 9:30pm - love - by tannerpaul -
Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (3311)
On 03/09/2011 at 10:47am - kids - by Waffle -
Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31345) - you deserved it (5109)
On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)
Today, while working at a dollar store, I was clobbered by a woman because apparently, I was ripping her off by charging two dollars for two doughnuts. She didn't understand that she couldn't buy multiple items at once for one dollar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22548) - you deserved it (1746)
On 01/13/2011 at 6:00pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it I decided to whisper in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I hear behind me, "I am." FML
I agree, your life sucks (37623) - you deserved it (61539)
On 08/05/2009 at 1:28am - intimacy - by unbelievable208 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML
I agree, your life sucks (46736) - you deserved it (127647)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by FML.. (woman) - China (Hebei)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (198784) - you deserved it (58761)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Sunday 12 May 2013
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