About pookie18 : I love tennis and running! I like lifting at the gym as well. I find it unnecessary to put my life story on here, but feel free to message me if you feel the need.
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and gave his little speech, over the phone. He did all this while his ass was firmly planted in a chair in the next room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20521) - you deserved it (1960)
On 12/11/2011 at 7:01pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41110) - you deserved it (5777)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21086) - you deserved it (12066)
On 12/11/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by Embarrassed Swimmer (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18559) - you deserved it (15516)
On 12/10/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by godhatesme (man) - United States
Today, I asked my boyfriend if I've gained weight. He replied, "Why do you think I've been so often on top lately?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25118) - you deserved it (6021)
On 12/09/2011 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my mom gave me my boyfriend's boxers that she'd washed after finding them in my camping bag. The boxers had "Big Banana" written all over them, along with pictures of bananas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7959) - you deserved it (20233)
On 12/09/2011 at 11:26am - love - by LinaLinaYeah (woman) - Canada
Today, I drank a fifth of vodka before I took my political science final. My professor later called me to tell me that I had written "Obama is a beautiful chocolate man" to every essay question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8585) - you deserved it (66341)
On 12/09/2011 at 1:11am - misc - by blondie101 - United States
Today, I got to say, "My best friend hooked up with my step-sister's grandma's aunt" and be correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20535) - you deserved it (1632)
On 12/09/2011 at 12:22am - love - by thatisnotcool45 - Canada
Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
I agree, your life sucks (5904) - you deserved it (52739)
On 12/08/2011 at 10:35pm - misc - by lebato97 - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my girlfriend left me. Knowing that I am a germaphobe, she took all of my cleaning supplies and spread mud and trash everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22604) - you deserved it (5264)
On 12/07/2011 at 10:33pm - health - by skrewedguy (man) - United States
Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25479) - you deserved it (3918)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by journey_Jeanne - United States (California)
Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (1529)
On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29058) - you deserved it (13417)
On 12/07/2011 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, it was my first day as a vacuum salesman. While I was demonstrating how well it removed stains, I managed to smear stuff over the area I was cleaning. So not only was I unsuccessful in removing the original stains, I left them with worse carpet than when I got there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7354) - you deserved it (15734)
On 12/07/2011 at 9:29am - work - by JB - United States
Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28173) - you deserved it (5005)
On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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