About polar_bears : Filling your little hearts with joy since 1854.
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polar_bears's favorite FMLs
Today, I was coaching at a swim meet. I heard a few of my swimmers screaming about a huge wasp on my head, so I told everyone to stay calm because we didn't want to upset the wasp. Unfortunately, I was interrupted by another coach from our team hitting me repeatedly on the head with a clipboard. FML
by Doodle / 08/01/2010 at 8:20pm / United States (Florida) / Health
Today, while out with my boyfriend I accidentally let out a rather large fart. I was in such shock the only sentence I could make was "I farted." Clearly he was in shock too because the only words he could utter were "I know." FML
by Oops / 05/23/2010 at 5:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by Rowden / 04/26/2010 at 5:58am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML
by snowman / 02/06/2010 at 12:12am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 01/13/2010 at 3:46am / United Kingdom (London) / Kids
Today, the last person I invited to my birthday party called and said they couldn't come because another party "came up" and they "hope I understand". It's on December 31st. This happens every year without fail. FML
by ahh / 12/28/2009 at 4:37pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
Today, I was awakened from a peaceful sleep by my crazy ex-girlfriend, who apparently copied my key before our break up three months ago. She was on top of me, stroking my beard, whispering: “He looks like Jesus.” FML
by Anonymous / 12/20/2009 at 3:47am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by barri / 12/16/2009 at 2:28am / Costa Rica (San Jose) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking out of class when I saw a girl enthusiastically run to her boyfriend, jump on him, and smother him with kisses. I thought to myself "I wish my girlfriend did that." When the girl jumped off and turned around I realized she did, just not to me. FML
by zitroskies / 10/06/2009 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
by Anathema_360 / 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML
by thatgirl247 / 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to eat dinner with my family to celebrate my 18th birthday. I playfully put 3 straws between my knuckles to make myself look like Wolverine. I turned to my 6 year old nephew and ask, "Who am I?" He then replied with, "An idiot." FML
by Mak10 / 08/21/2009 at 1:18am / United States (Arizona) / Kids
by ohgod / 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Iowa) / Kids
by VelocityMary / 07/30/2009 at 11:52am / United States / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…