About polar_bears : Filling your little hearts with joy since 1854.
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polar_bears's favorite FMLs
Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML
by Anonymous / 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 04/20/2013 at 12:34pm / Thailand / Kids
Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML
by thanks gramps / 04/19/2013 at 3:27am / Canada (Yukon Territory) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was again turned down by a potential host family on a student exchange site. Their reasoning was basically that since I'm American, I might do something to endanger my health, get hurt, and then sue them over my own stupidity. FML
by thanks, my fellow americans / 04/18/2013 at 5:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by obnum / 04/18/2013 at 10:37am / United States / Love
by guess I'm stuck / 04/16/2013 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Love
Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML
by yeah why not / 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm / Norway / Miscellaneous
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML
by Jessica / 03/23/2013 at 3:00pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML
by Anonymous / 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm / United States / Love
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
by bestnameright / 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
Today, my coworker and I were sitting and eating lunch. We noticed a little kid kept staring at us, and every time we looked away he would come a little bit closer. When he was right behind us, I looked and was startled enough to jump. The parents were three tables down laughing uncontrollably. FML
by radioinvader / 10/28/2012 at 8:29am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by justabitembarrassed / 10/07/2012 at 10:20am / United States (Ohio) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…