pokemai

Search for a member

pokemai

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 3 August 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 804
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About pokemai : "Bow to show respect for your seafood"

pokemai's page activity

Visits<b>CharterOak</b> - the 07/20/2016 at 8:36am<b>CougeeSwagg</b> - the 05/02/2016 at 11:37pm<b>anonymous132001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:30pm<b>abby1212</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 12:45pm<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 10:38pm<b>Malteser95</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 5:16pm<b>xyris</b> - the 07/12/2015 at 3:13pm<b>Daevas</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:18am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:42pm<b>Driving_Gaming</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 3:04pm<b>JellyJace</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 1:53pm<b>josefconnolly</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:00am<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 2:06pm<b>curticus</b> - the 06/09/2014 at 8:18am<b>adamjcurryy</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 5:50am<b>tigerfish</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:23am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 5:02am<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/19/2013 at 12:24pm

pokemai's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of pokemai's badges

pokemai's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad refused to believe that the Animal Planet's mermaid mockumentaries were faked. Instead he got into a huge argument with me, claiming the government is covering up the existence of mermaids and must've threatened the producers to keep it quiet. FML

by Idontbelieveinmagic / 06/17/2013 at 1:42am / United States (Nevada) / Transportation

Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML

by cherbear1000 / 06/17/2013 at 12:33am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out, I snatched a pair of my wife's panties. Later, we had a cook out for my birthday, where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to pick up my 6-year-old son from his friend's house. They were having a great time, and he didn't want to leave. So, while I wasn't looking, he superglued both his hands to their kitchen table. FML

by firestar772 / 06/12/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was on my bike. As I'm rolling through an intersection, some asshat in a pickup runs the red light and hits me. Instead of getting out and helping me, the guy hops out, takes a look at me lying in the street, steals my hat and drives off. That was my favorite hat. FML

by Are you f*cking kidding me / 06/12/2013 at 2:10am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I got mugged on the way to my 21st birthday party at a bar. I begged the thug to at least throw me my ID, only to have him laugh and run away singing "happy birthday". FML

by ididntevendrinkthatnight / 06/07/2013 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, at the office, my most annoying client asked me to send her a document. I have now sent it to her over 5 times, in a different format each time, and every single time she replies with, "Not in the requested format". She won't tell me what the requested format is. FML

by Anonymous / 06/06/2013 at 8:38am / Work

Today, while at my aunt's funeral, my grandma who has terrible memory loss asked me whose funeral we were at. I had to explain to her that her daughter had died. FML

by Me / 06/03/2013 at 1:32am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

by nbj10 / 05/31/2013 at 6:42pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

by nbj10 / 05/31/2013 at 6:42pm / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friend-zone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

by getafucktoysomewhereelsedude / 05/16/2013 at 4:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I started at my first job. Within the first five minutes of arriving, I was followed around by a white guy who repeatedly sang to me, "Black people love making music" along with a few of his own songs. It resulted in me getting fired for bringing my "boyfriend" to work. I didn't even know him. FML

by sarahijklmnop / 11/14/2012 at 8:04pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, my girlfriend snapped at me for being lazy and incompetent, and declared that if I was going to behave like a child, she would be treating me like one. This includes safety-proofing the house, talking to me like a 3-year-old and slapping me with a wooden spoon when I do something wrong. FML

by Z / 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm / Australia / Love