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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11976) - you deserved it (34859)
On 03/16/2011 at 9:01am - work - by Almostfunny (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (7342)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, I was so bored at a family gathering that I pretended to be busy texting the whole time. I don't know what's worse, that I'm not close to anyone in my family, or that I have no one close enough to text to about such things. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21967) - you deserved it (6005)
On 07/10/2010 at 8:57pm - misc - by hello - Jordan (Amman Governorate)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend saying, "I shall be the prince, and you shall be the princess," to his hamster. Once he saw me, he quickly turned to the hamster and said, "I have to go. The dragon is here." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34531) - you deserved it (5910)
On 05/14/2010 at 7:28pm - love - by Cheese4men - Canada (Alberta)
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20634) - you deserved it (3508)
On 01/05/2010 at 7:49am - misc - by Anonymous - India (Madhya Pradesh)
Today, I was in class. I am an older student going back for my PhD. I was kicked out of class for "sassing" my instructor for telling him he was wrong about what took place at an event I was actually present at. My instructor is a 22 year old TA. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32546) - you deserved it (2788)
On 12/01/2009 at 2:49pm - misc - by sassman (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6766) - you deserved it (35101)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11080) - you deserved it (35319)
On 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm - money - by shushingmoon (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was getting changed in front of my room mate of two years. Feeling comfortable, I took off all my clothes and started putting new clothes on. I asked why she wasn't taking her eyes off my naked body. She said "I'm loving the view. Didn't you know I'm a lesbian?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15188) - you deserved it (38819)
On 09/07/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by EyesOffMe (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I saw a girl I haven't seen in 4 years. She used to like me back then. Since then I have lost 50 pounds, and never had the confidence to ask her out. She said I looked really sexy so I decided to ask her out on a date then and there. She said no, she only likes fat guys. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (3058)
On 09/06/2009 at 12:19am - love - by Nofatforme (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31638) - you deserved it (7187)
On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6228) - you deserved it (43666)
On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, a friend jokingly asked who in my relationship wears the pants. My girlfriend replied, "I'm not sure, but I've got photos to prove I don't wear the skirt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6323) - you deserved it (21866)
On 08/23/2009 at 2:54am - love - by Crossy (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found my phone under the car seat after three days. I flipped it open ready to issue apologies to everyone who had tried to get in touch with me and I had worried. No missed calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (61545) - you deserved it (7245)
On 04/16/2009 at 6:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (86313) - you deserved it (3895)
On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)
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