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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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pojoto

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pojoto
  • Town/Country : Boston
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 5 November 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 1527
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pojoto's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my house to find everyone sitting around the table and looking sad. I thought it would be a good time to crack a joke and said "What's wrong? Grandma finally die?" Turns out she had. FML

#217290 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (17512) - you deserved it (95352)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:33pm - health - by ubbernoob (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she randomly asked me "does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked "does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116 (315)

I agree, your life sucks (157698) - you deserved it (19670)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my car tonight when I saw a large man walking behind me, I hurried to open my car as he was approaching quickly, my door wasn't unlocking and I panicked. It was then I noticed it wasnt even my car. As I walked away from the other car, he walked up and unlocked the door. FML

#202745 (47)

I agree, your life sucks (7267) - you deserved it (34916)

On 03/03/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by Fantastic (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting in traffic for about an hour. I've heard stories about people doing the dirty in their cars and I never do anything risky so I thought, why not, I'll be here a while, no one can see me: I'll masturbate. Midway through I hear a tap on my driver's window. Its a police officer. FML

#192974 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (21483) - you deserved it (105557)

On 03/03/2009 at 1:29am - intimacy - by imanidiot (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

#125499 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (67988) - you deserved it (16087)

On 02/24/2009 at 6:32pm - intimacy - by Menareidiots (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

#125156 (84)

I agree, your life sucks (48318) - you deserved it (5227)

On 02/24/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by iliketurtles (man) - United States (California)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139 (196)

I agree, your life sucks (59554) - you deserved it (15033)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mum came home from a business trip. My four-year-old brother, who I'd been watching, told her I was "sexing" my boyfriend a lot after I put him to bed. After lots of arguing, she banned me from seeing him and took my car away. Only much later did I realize my brother meant "texting". FML

#113033 (65)

I agree, your life sucks (67306) - you deserved it (3747)

On 02/23/2009 at 11:47am - intimacy - by Megan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm playing basketball with my little brother. After jokingly blocking his shot, he turns to me and says "You're a bitch." He's 6. After asking where he heard that word, he responded with "Daddy calls you that when you're not around." FML

#112335 (92)

I agree, your life sucks (103659) - you deserved it (7458)

On 02/23/2009 at 7:51am - kids - by lifesucks4me - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my dog for a walk down by the river. I was throwing sticks for him with one hand and talking on the phone with the other. Then I accidentally threw my phone in the river instead of the stick and was standing there talking to the stick while my phone sat at the bottom of the river. FML

#102926 (85)

I agree, your life sucks (13061) - you deserved it (45535)

On 02/22/2009 at 9:52am - animals - by El Boz (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He said I was way too good at sex so I must have lied about not having much experience, and he "wouldn't be with someone who is hiding something." WTF? FML

#98497 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (69945) - you deserved it (4853)

On 02/21/2009 at 7:13pm - intimacy - by pchemist (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML

#86332 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (57795) - you deserved it (2205)

On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I looked on my sister's phone. There was a text from her boyfriend: "Let's go camping again, I bought more condoms so we won't make a big mess this time." Last time they went camping, they borrowed my sleeping bag. FML

#43502 (40)

I agree, your life sucks (57388) - you deserved it (5705)

On 02/14/2009 at 7:38pm - misc - by NeverCampingAgain (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to dinner with my friend and his family. I went to the men's room at the same time as his father, and as we peed next to each other in adjacent urinals the father looked over at me and said "Don't worry, I've seen smaller." FML

#37714 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (26382) - you deserved it (1763)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:40pm - misc - by samrodpuertorico (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

#27684 (71)

I agree, your life sucks (62839) - you deserved it (2933)

On 02/11/2009 at 9:09pm - misc - by sober (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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