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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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poiuytrewqlkjhgf

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poiuytrewqlkjhgf
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6512
  • Number of comments : 56
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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poiuytrewqlkjhgf's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to bring her to her AA meeting. FML

#8587939 (81)

I agree, your life sucks (5152) - you deserved it (21149)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend proposed. Three hours later, he called me to tell me he was kidding. FML

#8472964 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (28977) - you deserved it (1367)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:59am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML

#8472938 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (6996) - you deserved it (22882)

On 02/20/2010 at 8:58am - misc - by Rach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I brought my new girlfriend over to show off to my family when my senile great-grandmother walked into the room wearing nothing but her underpants asking when the Olympics come on. FML

#8366162 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (16281) - you deserved it (1496)

On 02/17/2010 at 2:30am - misc - by unfortunate419 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to rub Tabasco sauce on my household toilet paper. FML

#8238239 (174)

I agree, your life sucks (17838) - you deserved it (2792)

On 02/14/2010 at 3:42am - love - by dzisfml - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working security at the mall, someone shat his pants. The shit dripped all over the floor and escalator. I was the one who had to stand near the poop so no one stepped in it. FML

#8230374 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (16620) - you deserved it (1459)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:07am - work - by mallcop - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog farted next to my CPAP sleep/breathing machine. The machine sucked up her fart, compressed it, and promptly injected it up both of my nostrils. FML

#8202300 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (26954) - you deserved it (2204)

On 02/13/2010 at 11:08am - animals - by Dog fart - United States

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

#8189417 (114)

I agree, your life sucks (14745) - you deserved it (4687)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:04am - animals - by Chris - United States (California)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668 (190)

I agree, your life sucks (26538) - you deserved it (3114)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

#7968028 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (16934) - you deserved it (5831)

On 02/07/2010 at 9:21am - misc - by Mackdaddy (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was spacing out in French class and randomly got an erection. My professor called on me to stand up at the front of the room and say, "I am wearing a belt," in French. Not everyone was observing just my belt. FML

#7782514 (228)

I agree, your life sucks (22494) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/01/2010 at 3:51pm - misc - by boner (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out that whilst I was asleep last night, my boyfriend was playing on his XBox. I also found out that whenever he unlocked a new level, achievement or just generally beat someone's ass, he would celebrate by pulling out one of his pubes and putting it in my mouth. FML

#7773873 (440)

I agree, your life sucks (72175) - you deserved it (7429)

On 02/01/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by doesnttastegood (woman) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (19550)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while at a party, Journey's "Don't Stop Believin'" started playing. For being the only one who didn't know the lyrics, I had beer thrown on me, my shirt stolen, and I was locked outside for half an hour. It's below freezing. FML

#7742822 (345)

I agree, your life sucks (13768) - you deserved it (21886)

On 01/31/2010 at 12:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML

#7698820 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (7621) - you deserved it (22549)

On 01/30/2010 at 3:47am - misc - by Wowsers. (woman) - United Kingdom (Blackpool)