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poisonivyface

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poisonivyface

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  • Number of visits : 699
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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poisonivyface's favorite FMLs

Today, I carried flat-packed boxes home from work to move my things into a new apartment. Whilst walking down the street, the wind kept blowing and spinning me round. A crowd eventually gathered, mistaking me for a street performer. Nobody helped or even threw me any loose change. FML

#20575849
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28324) - you deserved it (3312)

On 04/05/2013 at 7:04am - misc - by Gem - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14304) - you deserved it (36650)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

#14849196
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42058) - you deserved it (5203)

On 02/05/2011 at 4:32am - love - by em - United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire)

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

#14830455
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22467) - you deserved it (2638)

On 02/03/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by theyreallydosmell -

Today, I woke up from my honeymoon to discover the love of my life is a bed wetter. FML

#14813959
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34882) - you deserved it (8633)

On 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35787) - you deserved it (4763)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my little brother discovered that bears can be very territorial and will pee on things to keep others away. He took this new found information to heart and peed on various things in the house that he wanted for himself, including my laptop. FML

#14774020
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32492) - you deserved it (2956)

On 01/30/2011 at 12:21pm - kids - by Joey - United States (California)

Today, I had a job interview at 9:00am. I left at around 8:30am, and as soon as I got in the car to drive to the interview, I checked my phone again, and it said 10:33. My boyfriend had decided to change the time on my clock as a "joke." FML

#14771838
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35678) - you deserved it (3947)

On 01/30/2011 at 8:43am - misc - by catsofly7 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got home from working late and decided to write a cute email to my girlfriend since I haven't seen her in two weeks. I was about to finish it off when my door swung open, and in a panic, I opened another tab to hide my email. It was porn. FML

#14743872
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11248) - you deserved it (38313)

On 01/28/2011 at 2:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my grandpa came over to help paint our house, as we are renovating it. The only paint clothes he decided to wear were his underpants. The neighbours and builders found this quite amusing. FML

#14706670
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19793) - you deserved it (2422)

On 01/25/2011 at 4:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the hospital to visit my aunt and her newborn baby. The receptionist gave me the room number, and I went and my aunt was in the bathroom so I cuddle the baby, only to find that the woman who came out of the bathroom was a complete stranger. I was holding her baby. FML

#14682600
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29418) - you deserved it (7221)

On 01/23/2011 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wrote a mental note: don't tell a couple of nuns that you used black magic to fix their computer. Then don't tell the story to your boss just as the nuns walk back in again. Then don't say "speak of the devil" to them. FML

#14647834
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9632) - you deserved it (32414)

On 01/20/2011 at 5:55am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend and he was fingering me. After he left, my mum says to me "I wish my sex life was as interesting as yours." She had walked in and we hadn't even noticed. FML

#14647585
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (11062)

On 01/20/2011 at 4:39am - intimacy - by saddened97 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21631) - you deserved it (2813)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I decided to play a friendly game of Clue with my family. This resulted in one kid crying, one dad with a broken nose, two broken plates and a trip to Walmart to get a new Clue game. FML

#14593657
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23843) - you deserved it (3607)

On 01/15/2011 at 8:50pm - misc - by fail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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