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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (66228) - you deserved it (8187)
On 05/12/2009 at 3:19am - health - by bathroomseww (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was pulling out of my driveway, and was being aware of the flowers I had just planted. I moved my head to look out my window as not to hit them, not realizing my window was up. I then hit my head break my nose and drive over the flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17965) - you deserved it (35367)
On 05/11/2009 at 3:46pm - misc - by samantha246 - United States (New York)
Today, I bought a brand new flat screen TV. When I brought it home it didn't work. Furious, I walked into Best Buy and yelled at a guy in a tucked in blue polo and khakis. I asked him why it didn't work and he said he didn't know. I kept screaming. He didn't have a nametag. He didn't work there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8874) - you deserved it (89008)
On 04/18/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by asdfghjkl (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, when my boyfriend reffered to my hair, I told him I was going to dye it. He responded by saying, "finally, so how much you going for, 40, maybe 50 pounds?". I said dye it, not diet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51127) - you deserved it (6592)
On 04/05/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by lifestinks - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a 7 year old girl came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (193050) - you deserved it (18034)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After saying my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last words. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9007) - you deserved it (41590)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:55am - love - by Not so quick getaway. (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad told me to take my stress out by getting a girlfriend. My mom laughed and said, "no that won't work, just go jack off in the shower again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35845) - you deserved it (3495)
On 02/16/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by IBleedArbor - United States (Connecticut)
Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39515) - you deserved it (3318)
On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)
Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13867) - you deserved it (18333)
On 02/11/2009 at 5:05pm - animals - by qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at lunch I ordered a coke. The waiter replied "diet coke?" and I corrected him saying, "No, regular coke." He shook his head and said again, "diet coke." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40681) - you deserved it (6505)
On 02/11/2009 at 2:14am - misc - by J (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was eating ice cream and I noticed some on my jeans so I wiped it off with my finger and licked it. It was bird shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39723) - you deserved it (11216)
On 02/05/2009 at 8:23am - animals - by #201 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, after numerous attempts, my car door still wouldn't unlock. After going ballistic on the lock, the key broke off inside. I then realized it wasn't my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8694) - you deserved it (15652)
On 11/26/2008 at 11:21pm - misc - by Smile - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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