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pleasedonttellme

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  • Number of visits : 4555
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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pleasedonttellme's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend beat me at ping pong, twenty to three. She said I let her win because I don't respect her, then stormed out of the room. I'm just really bad at ping pong. FML

#5423695
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37809) - you deserved it (3944)

On 09/23/2009 at 4:14am - love - by garrett (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I decided I would call in sick to work after working 60 hours the week before just so I could have a day off... My body responded this morning with vomiting and diarrhea so I had to call in sick and didn't get to have much fun... Karma 1 Me 0. FML

#5395171
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30047) - you deserved it (9919)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:50pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

#5329801
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36000) - you deserved it (1949)

On 09/18/2009 at 9:33am - misc - by cl512 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I urgently needed to use the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. When I went to flush, it would not go down the pipes. After about ten panic filled minutes, I notice the cat litter box. I carefully scoop out my logs, and bury them in the cat litter. FML

#5325654
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17470) - you deserved it (44162)

On 09/18/2009 at 12:29am - animals - by Poowee (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my family gathered to pray. It was my brother's turn to pray and he ended with this, "...and help Chev that he does not become the disappointment everyone expects him to be. Amen." I looked on in shock as my entire family nodded and said "Amen" in agreement. Hi, I'm Chev. FML

#5293926
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39513) - you deserved it (4619)

On 09/16/2009 at 3:58pm - misc - by jaskyriddims (man) - Dominica (Saint George)

Today, I was taking my morning pills. There had been a lot of fruit flies in my house lately. I grabbed a cup of water beside to sink to wash the pills down. As soon as I tasted the drink, I realized it was vinegar and dish soap used to trap the flies. I washed my pills down with dead flies. FML

#5244786
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28215) - you deserved it (24552)

On 09/14/2009 at 1:07am - animals - by Maggie123 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had dinner with my family at a fancy restaurant. They kept commenting about how cold it was and asked the waitress to turn off the air conditioning. When I got home, I realized the embroidered daisies on my undershirt made it look like I have giant protruding nipples. FML

#5243719
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19610) - you deserved it (5101)

On 09/14/2009 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

#5230758
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44812) - you deserved it (2994)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a blind date with a guy who talked about himself in the 3rd person. Seriously. FML

#5219515
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45456) - you deserved it (5822)

On 09/13/2009 at 12:15am - love - by blind_date (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

#5163461
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18363) - you deserved it (4840)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:18am - intimacy - by Loveless (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the mall in a store looking at movie posters. I turned around and suddenly saw a creepy guy smiling at me, holding his arms out wide. I screamed "holy shit!" really loudly, causing everyone to stop and stare at me funny. Then I realized the creepy man was a cardboard cutout. FML

#4981586
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12017) - you deserved it (40497)

On 09/01/2009 at 6:21pm - misc - by becca1417 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was in an unfamiliar building on campus and I needed to use the bathroom before class started. I walked in and saw a man at the sink. I said "Oh my god I'm sorry! I thought this was the women's washroom." It was. The very butch looking woman gave me a look of death. FML

#4957088
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38702) - you deserved it (9339)

On 08/31/2009 at 5:18pm - misc - by Cherie (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

#4674126
331 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18103) - you deserved it (44633)

On 08/20/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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