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platypus546

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platypus546

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 December 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2076
  • Number of comments : 76
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About platypus546 : wow are you really that bored to be looking here?

then again procrastination is all that brings me here!

watch me procrastinate more on Instagram raysontoast

platypus546's page activity

Visits<b>Vhavoc11</b> - yesterday at 12:21am<b>mobigomo</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:22am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:17am<b>barfcannon</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 9:14pm<b>irisr</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:52am<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:55am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:37am<b>Bgreene_5</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 7:06pm<b>tappm98</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:00pm<b>notevenmad</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:31pm<b>slackerjoe</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 3:28pm<b>badkookie</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 3:11pm<b>catherine012</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 2:16pm<b>gpins24</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:58pm<b>TashaGayle33</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:04pm<b>abcdog123</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:56am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 11:39am

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:22pm

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platypus546's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15786) - you deserved it (26881)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33870) - you deserved it (5241)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

#21398399
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32719) - you deserved it (6241)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28166) - you deserved it (3994) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28371) - you deserved it (3655)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (266) - you deserved it (48240)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30331) - you deserved it (3286)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44408) - you deserved it (4024)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35850) - you deserved it (56473)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60661) - you deserved it (7702)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48818) - you deserved it (8198)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23322) - you deserved it (3535)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)



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