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platypus546

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platypus546
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 December 1982 (31 years)
  • Number of visits : 1142
  • Number of comments : 61
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About platypus546 : wow are you really that bored to be looking here?

then again procrastination is all that brings me here!

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platypus546's favorite FMLs

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40594) - you deserved it (4753)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45762) - you deserved it (7743)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19098) - you deserved it (3133)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11543) - you deserved it (39192)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31547) - you deserved it (19667)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28842) - you deserved it (4978)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17010) - you deserved it (60906)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27592) - you deserved it (6988)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband told me that he can't find his passport. We're supposed to be leaving for Prague in two days. He's known about the trip for months. It was the anniversary vacation that was going to help our frayed relationship. Now my money is going to a hotel in Prague, but I'm not. FML

#15691728
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22257) - you deserved it (3440)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by stuckhome (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

#15650058
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25233) - you deserved it (5879)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by why - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27412) - you deserved it (15072)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

#15632605
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32208) - you deserved it (4946)

On 04/04/2011 at 5:29am - love - by terrible person -

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70054) - you deserved it (5707)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

#15618704
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29721) - you deserved it (2517)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Trainspotting - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97953) - you deserved it (6727)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved



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