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platypus546

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platypus546

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 December 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1948
  • Number of comments : 73
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About platypus546 : wow are you really that bored to be looking here?

then again procrastination is all that brings me here!

watch me procrastinate more on Instagram raysontoast

platypus546's page activity

Visits<b>LiquidFantasy</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 10:05pm<b>tori3700</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 11:22pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 7:16pm<b>awkwardeer</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 11:28am<b>SupHoeItsChelsea</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:20pm<b>Jandude</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 3:39am<b>MomentoMori</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 3:16pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 07/25/2014 at 10:11am<b>dodydoll81</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 2:19pm<b>ilovebadluck</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 5:10am<b>dingostacy</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 2:14am<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 05/16/2014 at 7:32pm<b>NerdGirl321</b> - the 05/14/2014 at 3:52pm<b>Zoeythedinosaur</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 10:48pm<b>SnowFangedBeauty</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 1:28am<b>lionandthelamb61</b> - the 04/14/2014 at 12:12am<b>actuallyahippo</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 7:14pm<b>seninaa</b> - the 04/12/2014 at 6:39am

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platypus546's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

#21398399
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26275) - you deserved it (5024)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22959) - you deserved it (3182) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (3649)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (178) - you deserved it (47456)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30098) - you deserved it (3278)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44367) - you deserved it (4021)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35238) - you deserved it (55517)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58941) - you deserved it (7507)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48775) - you deserved it (8190)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23303) - you deserved it (3531)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12800) - you deserved it (41570)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33068) - you deserved it (20316)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32958) - you deserved it (5378)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -



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