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platypus546

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platypus546

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 26 December 1982 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2126
  • Number of comments : 78
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About platypus546 : wow are you really that bored to be looking here?

then again procrastination is all that brings me here!

watch me procrastinate more on Instagram raysontoast

platypus546's page activity

Visits<b>winterforever97</b> - 12 hours ago<b>SLFrankyD</b> - 15 hours ago<b>abdiG</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 12:33pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 10:10pm<b>Bad_Luck_Betty</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 5:45pm<b>rayraydayday</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:18am<b>fantae</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:04pm<b>Vhavoc11</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 12:21am<b>mobigomo</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 5:22am<b>UnidentifiedFun</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 3:17am<b>barfcannon</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 9:14pm<b>irisr</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 7:52am<b>ShatteredPulse</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 3:55am<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 05/23/2015 at 12:37am<b>Bgreene_5</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 10:25pm<b>Kidjazzin</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 7:06pm<b>tappm98</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 5:00pm<b>notevenmad</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:31pm

Fucked!<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 4:22pm

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platypus546's favorite FMLs

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15822) - you deserved it (26939)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

#21399489
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34166) - you deserved it (5261)

On 04/25/2015 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he traded nude pictures I sent him for a costume piece in an internet game. He told me I should be okay with this, because, "It's a rare piece." FML

#21398399
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32749) - you deserved it (6249)

On 04/23/2015 at 9:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, in a crowded doctor's waiting room, my two-year-old daughter let a loud fart rip. I asked her, "What do we say?" She replied, "IT'S ME!" FML

#21398419
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28236) - you deserved it (4005) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/23/2015 at 8:27am - kids - by bleue - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (3657)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (318) - you deserved it (48605)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (3292)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
462 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44439) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I accidentally said the wrong name during sex. That name just happened to be "Sarah", which is both my ex-girlfriend's name and my wife's sister's name. When she asked me which one I meant, I panicked and said, "Both." FML

#21140956
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35869) - you deserved it (56507)

On 05/15/2014 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by FLIPmcCOOL - Ireland (Cork)

Today, in the middle of sex, my girlfriend yelled, "STUFF ME LIKE A TURKEY!" I couldn't finish. FML

#21112870
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60706) - you deserved it (7707)

On 04/14/2014 at 4:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, after paying for my groceries, I noticed that a bread-roll hadn't been charged. I felt guilty and went back to the register to pay for it. The cashier burst into derisive laughter and mockingly asked me if I was "running for Pope or something". FML



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  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

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