Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

platypus546

Search for a member

platypus546
  • Town/Country : Newcastle, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Saturday 25 December 1982 (30 years)
  • Number of visits : 836
  • Number of comments : 55
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About platypus546 : wow are you really that bored to be looking here?

then again procrastination is all that brings me here!

platypus546's last visitors

that_guy721lmc94ImmekelFreezecicatriceAshleigh201ilovejunkfoodCenobytefizzpoplady

platypus546's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of platypus546's badges

platypus546's favorite FMLs

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40434) - you deserved it (6019)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my first driving lesson from my dad. We traded seats, I started the car and his entire lesson was, "Go." FML

#18475909
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18552) - you deserved it (3087)

On 12/10/2011 at 11:45am - misc - by Maggie (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

#18220908
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9636) - you deserved it (28628)

On 11/11/2011 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by Henry - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27706) - you deserved it (15517)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my dad hid the toilet paper and is charging me 50 cents a roll. FML

#16038977
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25742) - you deserved it (4041)

On 05/03/2011 at 11:12pm - misc - by wiper -

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16112) - you deserved it (51298)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, when I picked up my repeat subscription of anti-anxiety medication, they had changed the packaging to be more 'child safe'. Now it's so hard to get the pills out that I had an anxiety attack trying to take one. FML

#15706489
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (5739)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:53am - health - by VoiceMail (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my husband told me that he can't find his passport. We're supposed to be leaving for Prague in two days. He's known about the trip for months. It was the anniversary vacation that was going to help our frayed relationship. Now my money is going to a hotel in Prague, but I'm not. FML

#15691728
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20845) - you deserved it (2923)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by stuckhome (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

#15650058
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21474) - you deserved it (4774)

On 04/05/2011 at 11:25am - misc - by why - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was watching Animal Planet while babysitting my 4 year-old niece. A really cute baby bunny came on and I called her into the room, only for her to see it get killed by a Bald Eagle. Now she won't stop crying. FML

#15632766
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (12340)

On 04/04/2011 at 6:13am - kids - by arbiter3 -

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

#15632605
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (4902)

On 04/04/2011 at 5:29am - love - by terrible person -

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

#15619603
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62493) - you deserved it (4542)

On 04/03/2011 at 11:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

#15618704
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29124) - you deserved it (2486)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:32am - misc - by Trainspotting - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I got back from vacation and walked in on my boyfriend and my brother in my bed. FML

#15617038
346 comments

I agree, your life sucks (89499) - you deserved it (5453)

On 04/03/2011 at 4:06am - intimacy - by Now Single - Reserved

Today, I went with my beautiful fiancée to tell her Grandmother, who's a bit senile, that we were engaged. Her response: "I know he's very nice, but think about the chubby little ugly children he'll give you". This was followed by a recollection of her ex-boyfriends who would've fathered attractive kids. FML

#15616826
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (2135)

On 04/03/2011 at 3:33am - misc - by Joe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Break that FML
  • Hello everybody! It's great to be back to present you with a new artist. Well, two artists actually. We don't often publish artists that work as a team, and today is all the more interesting because we're…

Wednesday 15 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: