pizza_party16

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Offline (the 11/01/2015 at 7:49am)

pizza_party16

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7921
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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pizza_party16's FML badges

I like your style

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Inception

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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pizza_party16's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

by Deaf / 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML

by _whyy_mee / 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my skinny 14-year-old daughter tell her friend, "Ugh, I wish I had leukemia or something so that I could lose weight." Yes, she actually said that. FML

by PupZilla / 07/02/2015 at 10:08am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

by smokecloud_ / 07/02/2015 at 2:40am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to see me and told me that he had a surprise for me. I was excited at the idea of a romantic gesture, but forgot about it until he arrived and things began heating up. As I was removing his pants, I said, "Ooh, you shaved!" to which he replied, "Surprise!" FML

by mirandale / 07/02/2015 at 1:53am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2015 at 12:49am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

by Smeagogole / 07/02/2015 at 12:30am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, after replacing several components on my new used car, I realized that the reason it wasn't getting the gas mileage it was supposed to because my coworkers take turns siphoning my gas while I work. FML

by thatshelpful / 07/02/2015 at 12:16am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

by Alex Andreas / 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, I sent the girl I like flowers, only to have her later post a picture of them online, saying, "ha when losers send you flowers". FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 10:04pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, my mother-in-law started chasing my kids around her house to make them smell her freshly-washed underwear. They were thongs. FML

by bleachingmykidsbrains / 07/01/2015 at 7:38pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, my flight was at the other side of the airport. I ran to the gate, to find that the flight had moved to the other side of the airport. So I ran again to miss my plane by a minute. However I did get a new flight... at the other end of the airport. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 3:09pm / United States (Florida) / Transportation

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm / Intimacy

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, I spent nearly half an hour looking for my favourite pair of shoes. I ended up getting so pissed off that I accused my boyfriend of stealing them. He then pointed out that I was wearing them. FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2015 at 1:54pm / United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne) / Miscellaneous