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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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pizza

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pizza
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  • Number of visits : 193
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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pizza's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML

#2009053 (715)

I agree, your life sucks (122002) - you deserved it (29424)

On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working at a grocery store when a couple of my co-workers called a code pink in aisle 22, which means there was an attractive woman in that aisle. After hearing about how hot she was, I went over to see her for myself. It was my mom. FML

#2004555 (101)

I agree, your life sucks (50490) - you deserved it (3857)

On 05/17/2009 at 1:46am - work - by sonofmilf (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

#1872793 (232)

I agree, your life sucks (76984) - you deserved it (3457)

On 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707 (242)

I agree, your life sucks (31267) - you deserved it (136807)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733 (543)

I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (225425)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

#253938 (1736)

I agree, your life sucks (373074) - you deserved it (413144)

On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed "Yes Brittany!" at the top of his lungs. My name's not Brittany. That's his sister. FML

#11340 (1009)

I agree, your life sucks (446025) - you deserved it (32714)

On 02/06/2009 at 10:29am - intimacy - by caroline (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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