Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 02/20/2015 at 1:34am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 September 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1839
  • Number of comments : 106
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About pistachiopanda : Work for the US Government.
I'm Romanian, born and raised!


I'm just a badass, it's true :)

pistachiopanda's page activity

Visits<b>Blizzicus</b> - the 11/24/2015 at 2:05pm<b>mchlrdx19</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 7:36pm<b>Takis_Best</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 8:51pm<b>jelly_bennett</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 3:21pm<b>Roozb</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:03am<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 9:35pm<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 11/04/2015 at 1:12pm<b>mehibud</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 5:05pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 2:59pm<b>ColorOfSoul</b> - the 10/22/2015 at 6:34am<b>Dalboz</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 12:00am<b>Warriorflex</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 4:02pm<b>ibmike22</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 1:39pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 1:23pm<b>Sumus125</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 8:49pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 09/18/2015 at 11:17pm<b>ethanc12</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 9:39am<b>MdMan2</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 8:20am

Fucked!<b>mehibud</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 11:05pm<b>ibmike22</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:39pm<b>smeffjeff1989</b> - the 10/02/2015 at 7:23pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 09/19/2015 at 5:17am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 6:26pm<b>AscendV</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 8:41pm<b>SpartanMerc</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 2:19pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 05/08/2015 at 11:34pm<b>Scrambled</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 3:34am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 3:55am<b>ihartmytdi</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:10pm<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 6:09am<b>osr215</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 5:21pm<b>alcalaboy5</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 6:44pm<b>c_wyld</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 6:45pm<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 11:23pm<b>punisher316</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 12:17am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 7:17pm

pistachiopanda's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of pistachiopanda's badges

pistachiopanda's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47062) - you deserved it (8195)

On 01/14/2014 at 5:06pm - money - by chiktikka (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, it was safe to say I started sleepwalking again, after I woke up with a mouth filled with soil and a ravaged plant. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39184) - you deserved it (3467)

On 12/17/2013 at 10:38am - health - by adventurousnightsbutnotinagoodway (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, while sitting in a crowded waiting room at the doctor's office, my 5-year-old daughter pointed at my 6-year-old son's crotch and boomed, "MOM, WHY DOES ANDY HAVE A FINGER DOWN THERE?" to which he yelled, "IT'S CALLED A COCK!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (52435) - you deserved it (6823)

On 09/27/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by SerenityJ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got more pleasure from scratching a bug bite than I've gotten from my boyfriend in 2 whole years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55149) - you deserved it (11196)

On 06/16/2013 at 1:10am - intimacy - by sex deprived (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML


I agree, your life sucks (19411) - you deserved it (32574)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Céline's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: