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pissflap

Offline (the 02/22/2015 at 1:15pm) | Search for a member

pissflap

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 568
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About pissflap : A bit of a tit really!

pissflap's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:28pm

pissflap's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of pissflap's badges

pissflap's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20825) - you deserved it (26348)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32531) - you deserved it (2690)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

#21351917
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30749) - you deserved it (3057)

On 02/08/2015 at 3:35am - animals - by OnlyAvailableID - Australia

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29038) - you deserved it (12838)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

#21346230
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30575) - you deserved it (3465)

On 01/29/2015 at 2:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32428) - you deserved it (2352)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33475) - you deserved it (2079)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, my wife wanted me to take her to a new restaurant in town. When I looked it up and saw their prices, I almost had a heart attack. When I said it was too expensive, she snapped "Maybe you'd like to look up 'Lorena Bobbitt' next?!" We went to the restaurant. FML

#21338935
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28340) - you deserved it (5729)

On 01/17/2015 at 1:49pm - love - by wounded pride, intact cock (man) - United States

Today, I realized that while I've been the same minuscule height for the past five years, my feet won't stop growing. I'm 5 foot and a size 12. I look like a clown. FML

#21338417
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (5759)

On 01/16/2015 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I gambled on a fart and lost. FML

#21337828
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23537) - you deserved it (15086)

On 01/15/2015 at 8:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (3579)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32041) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was in the car with my 4-year-old sister and our puppy. Suddenly, she blurted out from the backseat, "I don't love you anymore." Shocked, I asked her to repeat herself. She looked me straight in the eye and said, "The puppy doesn't love you either." FML

#21334677
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28991) - you deserved it (2445)

On 01/10/2015 at 7:15pm - kids - by SadSister:( - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34540) - you deserved it (6160)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, after finishing my second glass of wine, I walked out of the bathroom and saw the tag on my hair dryer from last year's rehab visit. FML

#21329685
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20099) - you deserved it (13996)

On 01/02/2015 at 11:04pm - health - by mosaicevolution (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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