Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

pissflap

Offline (yesterday at 10:38am) | Search for a member

pissflap

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 788
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About pissflap : A bit of a tit really!

pissflap's page activity

Visits<b>olpally</b> - the 12/20/2014 at 12:28pm

pissflap's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

See all of pissflap's badges

pissflap's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he thinks I'm cheating on him, with my brother. FML

#21439021
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24439) - you deserved it (1907)

On 07/09/2015 at 12:51pm - love - by dollfacee - United States

Today, a woman came through drive-thru and placed a long order while screaming at her kids in back. When we forgot a doughnut, she became enraged, threw her iced coffees at me, told me I was a no-life and that I always get her order wrong. It's my first day and I was only giving her the order. FML

Today, I had to take my son to the hospital for drinking sunscreen. Apparently, he saw something on the internet that said if he drank it, his body would sweat it out and continually apply it to his body. He's 16. FML

#21425682
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35908) - you deserved it (6008)

On 06/14/2015 at 9:41am - kids - by afather - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30426) - you deserved it (3322)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29462) - you deserved it (3954)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my phone got stolen at church. FML

#21418593
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28317) - you deserved it (3446)

On 05/31/2015 at 2:21pm - misc - by fffemaleee - United States (Michigan)

Today, tears and 3 hours on the toilet have made me reevaluate my desire for new culinary experiences. FML

#21417945
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23135) - you deserved it (2364)

On 05/30/2015 at 6:59am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I strained so hard trying to take a crap that I broke a blood vessel in my eye. FML

#21414271
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25800) - you deserved it (5528)

On 05/23/2015 at 12:38am - misc - by Strainer - United States (California)

Today, I had the most rancid fart. My dog woke up from his nap and bit me as punishment. FML

#21412078
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25105) - you deserved it (7104)

On 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm - misc - by Swabidizop - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML

#21410586
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (10493)

On 05/15/2015 at 4:26pm - health - by hedayk - United States (New York)

Today, I went to work at my job as a CNA at a long-term care facility. I'm also on a medication that has a side effect of confusion. I had 3 residents with Alzheimer's tell me to 'get my shit together.' FML

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13967) - you deserved it (48872)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

#21365242
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18786) - you deserved it (55599)

On 02/28/2015 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22937) - you deserved it (29099)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my roommate let out a blood-curdling scream in the bathroom. I ran in to see what was going on, only to find her sitting on the toilet, topless. Turned out she'd tried to pierce her own tit using a clothespin and a needle. FML

#21356659
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33740) - you deserved it (2811)

On 02/15/2015 at 12:57pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: