About pinkfrenchrose : My name's Veronica, and I'm just your average teenager.
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pinkfrenchrose's favorite FMLs
Today, I woke up to find that my dog was missing. I spent about an hour searching for him when my psycho ex-girlfriend texted me his photo. She'd kidnapped him. After driving over there, she shot paintballs at my car. Now I have no dog and a colorful car. FML
by sammatthews2007 / 02/24/2009 at 10:21pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals
Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML
by Noname / 02/24/2009 at 8:20pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I stayed home, sick in bed. I had been sleeping on my arms. I got up quickly to grab the phone. My numb left arm rocketed and punched me in the (now cut) lip, which threw me off balance, making me smash my (now bloody) nose off of the headboard. It was a telemarketer. FML
by Sick / 02/24/2009 at 3:34pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
Today, I stopped at a lemonade stand on my way to work. A cute little girl handed me a mouthwash-sized cup of juice, and her adorable little brother told me it would be $.25. All I had was a $20. He shoved it into his overalls pocket, looked up with huge brown eyes and just said "Thank you." FML
by ripdivine / 02/24/2009 at 12:47pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids
Today, I called the florist and ordered a flower arrangement for my grandma, who I was told was sick. I said I didn't know what to get her, so just to send her something nice. I got a call from my mom calling me an inconsiderate bastard. They sent my grandma forget-me-nots. She has Alzheimers. FML
by Originality18 / 02/23/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML
by hey-o / 02/23/2009 at 6:09pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
Today, while walking through the fragrance area in a shopping center a women behind me asked; "Excuse me miss, would you like to sample our new fragrance line." I'm a 19 year old male. I turned around expecting her to correct herself. She didn't. FML
by highlycontagious / 02/22/2009 at 4:45am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML
by not-so-young-shortie / 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, I'm in Spain, and told the kids with whom I will be working that I was excited to be working with them. Only the form of excitement I used apparently refers to sexual excitement. Basically, I told the kids I was sexually aroused to be working with them. FML
by thegoldenboy3 / 02/12/2009 at 7:14am / Spain (Andalucia) / Intimacy
by TGIkaty / 02/09/2009 at 7:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Morgan / 02/03/2009 at 6:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids
Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML
by epistaxis / 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
by Noname / 01/19/2009 at 5:26am / Canada (Alberta) / Money
Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML
by doh / 01/10/2009 at 12:39am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Work
- Today, I bought a non-refundable $200 plane ticket to Ohio to be with my girlfriend who moved there… Today, after weeks of gathering the courage, I asked my boyfriend whether he takes a shower right… Today, I was playing video games when my balls felt itchy. I had been sick for the past few days so…